it's my life

not so christmasy after all

2005-12-25T14:11:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

This christmas is easily the boring-est one I've had. Because I felt so so SO tired and worn out last night, I went to bed at 11.45pm. So no time for MY version of a christmas countdown. Sigh~

So today, I was at mid valley. Walked around for 2 hours or so but bought nothing. Only spotted a nice pair of adidas sneakers and some tees.

It's not even a very merry christmas after all :(

Today, I've had enough of Jingle Bells, Rudolp the Red-nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, etc etc. There's no need for a look at the lyrics; I'm now able to sing them all :) :)

Short post today. Outta things to write about~

ranting time

2005-12-23T11:15:00.000+08:00

Okay, so I'm fucking pissed right now. Grrr...

The broadband speed is driving me nuts but I'm not gonna blame it on streamyx ... yet. It's the fucking networking shit that's behind the problem. Before networking, everything went kinda fine and downloading was smooth and all.

But because my brother was throwing tantrums all over and made my parents pissed (hah, not as pissed as I am now), my dad then decided to spend some hundreds just to get a computer guy to install a hub so both me and my bro get to use it.

And while I'm typing this, guess what he's doing now? What the fuck. He's busy whistling like some ahpek kinda person ... and I still can hear him even when I've shut my door - HARD. He then decides to be a copycat and slams the door too.

You see, i'm not being selfish. That dude even has his PMR to deal with next year. Maybe he thinks he can cope since almost everyone he knows has got straight As. What a cow.

I'm actually jealous of those people who have goooood younger brothers, okaay? I'm now sneezing like shit, so I'm assuming that he's probably cursing me now. I don't have flu and my room is clean. Gah.

Not in the right mood to write serious stuff. Slow internet speed and a terrible brother are enough to spoil everything. Boo~

of college (again) and festival moods

2005-12-18T23:02:00.000+08:00

7 more days to christmas day - one of my favourite festivals. No wait, it's in the same spot as chinese new year. Bah.

I was chatting with a friend yesterday about going into college and all. I still haven't made up my mind about which intake I'd go. But most probably 2nd, cause I still can't get over the fcking G in my trials cert. I don't have a forecast cert. College might not reject my application, but the problem's with me. I just don't have the guts to go there and show them that I actually FAILED.

Yea, and you know what HELP call themselves - university of achievers. (No, I'm not applying for 1st intake for them, like I've said, it's just me)

Now I'm thinking of destroying my trials cert. Hehe.

I don't know if this is true, but those in 2nd intake will have the least time to prepare for the exams. But even if it's fiction, I still need to study like mad, right?

I've finally got a list of fancy stuff that I'd love to have. 2006's approaching, so brand new things are supposed to welcome a brand new year? Or is it the other way around?!

I'd like to have that pair of nike sneakers that I've seen in The Curve a couple of months ago. Sigh, I just don't know if they are still there; it's been 2 months!!! Next are a watch, tops, jeans, etc.

And let's just hope that my dad doesn't complain too much.

changessss

2005-12-13T17:16:00.000+08:00

I've so far turned down 3 offers to hang out with my friends. All with a reason, of course. But no matter how unavoidable/important the said reasons are, I still feel pretty bad. I'm looking forward to the day when I can finally take over the wheel and get to drive everyone around.

Staying at home 24/7 is making me a complete loner. My parents are still working, which means the only homo sapiens left in the house half of the day are me and my younger bro. December marks the 10th month of our childish decision to not talk to each other ... well, unless a so-called shameless side is willing to talk things out, or so I think...

I've totally forgotten the cause of the argument, believe it or not, so I've completely stopped backstabbing him to my mum. I've even stopped rolling my eyeballs whenever he bullshits in front of my parents. I even feel a bit bad for him whenever I get something that he doesn't get to have.

How's that for a good ol' forgiving sister???

Okay, enough of bullshitting (although I still think I'm forgiving enough *winks*).

Things have changed. I remember when I was 5 or 6, I didn't have any expensive dolls to play with. I didn't have my own handphone. I didn't get to wear those roller shoes. I didn't have a computer, although the closest thing to a computer that I've got back then was this 'laptop' with black-and-white screen that teaches you basic english words, etc. That was the early 90's.

It's nearly 2006 now and kids these days keep demanding for more cool stuff. Shit, it's so unfair!! I had to beg my mum to buy me a LAME COMPUTER GAME CD ... now kids can get to own PS2, GAMEBOY, XBOX AND GAWD-KNOWS-WHAT-OTHER-BOX-THERE-IS GAMES.

If only the iPod was created 10 years back ...

lots to worry about

2005-12-12T14:59:00.000+08:00

Bah. No vacation this year. That's like one of the [many] saddest things to happen to me in 2005. So yea, I'll be celebrating (well, sorta) christmas at home lol. Maybe dad'll bring us out for some nice dinner, so yea 0_o

Kinda bad to say this, but I feel pretty useless sitting at home 24/7 for 3 months without doing something er, useful. If only I've got fantastic results in my trials, or I'll be sure to enter college in January (1st intake). So I can only hope that I get better results in SPM (sigh, I'm still doubtful) so I can enter 2nd intake.

No, wait, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ENTERING 2ND INTAKE? GEEZ. A friend told me 2nd intake is gonna be a wrong choice because of "several reasons".

~~It's not that I don't wanna choose to apply for the 1st intake, it's just that I can't. Sigh.~~
On a second thought, I just DON'T wanna enter 1st intake ^^

Oh btw, I'm actually reconsidering other colleges, besides HELP. I know A LOT of people are interested to go to HELP, and I've already thought it isn't nice to bump into too many familiar faces, for some sad reasons laar ... But my first choice is still HELP so if there aren't other probs about it, I'll be there to do my A levels.

[edit: just when I thought 6 familiar faces were too much, it seems that there're gonna be *gasp* 8 familar faces]

And to make matters worse (while I'm like, confused over college business), my dad decides to send me to our hometown so I can "help my aunt do business at her shop". To tell ya the truth, I'm pretty useless when it comes to helping out in doing business. I mess things up and I know nuts about all those things my aunt sells in her shop. At the moment I haven't got anything fancy to buy so I'm not in a hurry for quick cash :)

And did I mention that I won't be able to use my cousin's computer there (sniff, no internet)? For fear that something may go wrong and I'll take the blame instead~

And oh, I've decided to take up a bit of french, since I'm like, damn bored with nothing to do ^^

attempt failed - again

2005-12-09T14:47:00.000+08:00

I finished my SPM last week, and right now I should have been on my 387583rd attempt to lose some weight. I don't wanna have the hassle to drive all the way to the park (no wait, I STILL can't drive) so jogging is already a no-no.

I do sit ups on my bed before I sleep instead :)

I know for sure this won't work a tiny bit but at least I get to err, "improve blood circulation", or whatever you call it. Bah.

What I do everyday:

9:00am - out of bed (mum as alarm clock); do usual morning stuff
10:00am - TV
11:00am - internet
12:30am - light lunch (wei, fried rice and friend noodle not considered light izzit?)
1pm - TV
3pm - internet
5:30pm - read the papers
6pm - dinner
6-8:30pm - TV
8:30pm - internet
10pm - TV/stoning
12am - internet (in 'appear offline' mode)
1am - bedtime

With a life like this, how to lose weight???! Of course, there'll occasionally be sms-ing or shopping in between. But still ... sigh.

Will start a new blog for 2006. This blog is getting olddd...

of imsomnia and my ideal family

2005-12-05T11:33:00.000+08:00

What an interesting discovery: I just found out 6 people (who I know, though not so close) who are going to the same college as me. Looking forward to bumping into their heads ... hehe.

I have imsomnia, damnit! But luckily it hasn't reached the serious stage yet; I just sorta roll over my bed for a while, stay put, think about interesting things that are bound to happen, and the next thing I know, I've already been awake in the dark for about 2-3 hours.

What's interesting is that I get dreams about the things I was thinking about before I fell asleep. They're all sweet, of course, but not all of them look the same as what I have earlier expected them to be ;)

Anyway one night, I was thinking of how cool it would be if I could just change my family for just one day. I know this sounds extremely stupid and all, but it won't hurt to just think about it for fun, right? So I was thinking how fun it would be to change my dad, my mum and last but not least, my younger bro.

My 'new' dad should be more generous (and not react when I ask for money), more loving, health-conscious, slightly taller and friendlier.
My 'new' mum should be someone who nags lesser, screams lesser, doesn't have a high-pitch voice, and is more sporting.
As for my younger bro ... bah, I want an older bro instead! Makes things easier whenever we argue. Younger bros tend to be more sensitive :P
I'll keep the ideas of my ideal self to myself ... boohoo!

My parents will probably screw me up if they read this (but the possibility is eventually 0 .. haha!). And I'm not saying that both of them are bad; they make the best parents in the world if they want too, alright. But if given a chance to change at least ONE of my family members, I'd choose my bro of course.

I don't *bleep*ing like him anymore!!! *jumps like wild child*

Oh dear, January is approaching and for some reason, I dislike January. And what's weird is I don't always hate it; I just kinda think 2006's January isn't good. But nope, I'm not saying that CNY is bad; I'd be more than willing to accept my ang paos (of mediocre amount).

And you know what? 2006 is gonna be a good ol' year for several good ol' reasons. I'm happy to be out of school, yes, but to be honest, I'm not too happy either to continue my studies in college :(

I *bleep*ing need a minimum one-year break!!!

ps: why is it so fucking hard to find a nice but simple blog layout? -__-

another dumb lesson?

2005-12-03T16:31:00.000+08:00

WTF wei!!

I don't fucking like to do something that I don't fucking like to do.

Geddit? NO?

I never really like to learn any additional language. I'm still comfy with english, malay, cantonese and about 10 words in mandarin.

I don't like jap stuff. So mum, please don't force me to learn jap language, yah?

I really don't know what is the fucking point of learning jap. I would rather learn dog language, geez. It's never gonna help me in any way; it's gonna be a burden to me somehow.

Driving lessons are still undecided; piano lessons are already giving me the headaches ... what can language lessons do to me then?!

back from a painful battle

2005-12-02T13:47:00.000+08:00

I'M BAAAAACCCK!!

In case you're wondering about the title of this entry, the word 'battle' doesn't even refer to SPM (which, btw, was only okaay). My internet access has been FROZEN for 2 *bleep*ing weeks and it was seriously hard to get on with life. And seriously, this year's november must have been the most painful one in life ...

Btw, if there's one thing that I should really keep in my mind 24/7, it should be that I shouldn't be asking for money from my father. It's this weird because most of the time, you hear people saying how good dads usually are when it comes to giving money and all. Again, I wish I was rich!!

Now I know how those drug addicts feel when they're caught and have no more glue to sniff.

SPM was only okaay because it was a bit better than school exams and yet I still made unwanted mistakes. Killer paper was BM (heh, my malay language would probably suck very soon ;) ), though. The rest was alright, but I'm not expecting much from physics.

But whatever it is, I'm glad that half of all my problems were cleared off today. And everything's changed after 10.50am, december 2nd.

Emo time:
I know I used to be really bad and always screwed things up. I know I used to speak without proper thinking beforehand, which resulted to all the conflicts we all had. I know I used to irritate you guys by making extremely small matters seem big. I know I used to make a lot of crappy lies and nearly making you guys believe that I've actually bungee-jumped in NZ before. I know I wasn't really a good friend; so sorry! But to all my friends, you all rock for just being there when I needed help, or when I wanted someone to talk to. Thanks a lot, dudes :)

Yes yes, I know. It's pointless, isn't it? Like, as if my friends really read my blog, or know what on earth a blog is at the first place 0_o But hey, if there aren't any plans for a meetup soon, I guess I'll have to wait till results day (which I'm obviously not anticipating).

SPM pretty much wrapped up every junk that I've learned in secondary school. But *puts on serious kind of face* I shall treasure all the good and bad memories that I've had in school. All the fun times we all had during PE; times when the chem teacher would call us "stupid, arrogant" (in malay, but the words in english sound kinda cute, so...) when we failed to show something good; me messing up with other people; discussions on "dirty" things even before we learned reproduction, etc.

Next up: driving lessons, absolutely dreadful piano lessons, broadband access (finally gonna stop being so stone-aged)

Out.

sniff

2005-10-27T19:42:00.000+08:00

*sniff*

Graduation day today. And I mean a very dull graduation day. Why? Because the so-called 'stupid' graduation song wasn't even played today!! Lol. Anyway the whole day was spent on what could be the final camwhoring sessions and making ourselves feel comfy for a while at the exam hall :)

My certs are terrible, I tell you. Even the testimonial sucks. Taekwondo was originally a uniformed unit (bah, that's the main reason why I decided to join 0_o), but then it was put under the sports category and for no apparent reason at all, I had the red crescent society as my 'new' uniformed unit ><

BUt of course, knowing that I'm not the only one with the problem and I don't wanna make my form teacher to get all the other unwanted troubles (many still requested her to do a forecast cert), I kept silent.

*treats self with another mini conetto*

Oh well, to all my *ahem* readers who probably don't exist at all; since it's already 27/10, and november is coming sooner than you can say "*bleep* SPM", I'm going on a hiatus. Will be back to business on 2/12 ...

Happy Halloween in advance, btw.

Out.

sighing about life

2005-10-24T17:28:00.000+08:00

Man, being home alone rocks more than anything else in this world.

I had fun listening to songs with the volume turned to the max (well, sorta ... I don't wanna lose my hearing abilities just yet), licking on my mini conettos and messing up my whole house (fortunate to clean up the whole mess before mum was home) ...

My mum wasn't too happy with my spending habits lately. We went shopping the other day and I, being the idiotic one, kept ~~asking~~ begging my mum to buy some clothes and a few other crappy stuff. I got all I wanted, but back in the car, I realised that I've missed out one thing ...

... a headphone/earplug/whatever ;)

Seriously, are mums made to nag?

And there's a good excuse to say that staying in school still rocks. First of all, I won't get a headache when thinking of WHAT to do and WHERE to go after form 5. And yes, I'm starting to hate, *bleep*ing HATE thinking about my future now. And because I wasn't erm, 'cooperating' with my mum, she went on with the usual listen-to-me-or-its-form6-for-you look. Apparently, she wants me to be 101% sure about my sucky post-SPM plans. Now I'm barely 50% sure about the crazy plans *rolls eyes*

Oh wells, looks like I won't be having much time to have fun after SPM. I'll be too lazy to study already *cries*. I wish I could still lead a lazy but comfy life, without any excellent academic qualifications or whatnots ... but could still find cash dropping from the skies. Maybe I should go on and marry a rich person - regardless of his age/looks - soon. I need quick cash, with the easiest method around ;)

I can't always depend on my parents, can I? Even at this moment, they're already starting to groan when I ask for a mere rm20!

Boohoo ... 21 days left to SPM~

Aah...let's not stress about the number of days left, shall we?

*does imaginary yoga steps*

I hear my books calling me.

Out.

of being silly

2005-10-20T16:52:00.000+08:00

Sigh. I've only been absent for one pathetic week and I've missed out a number of things in school. I could see that my form teacher nearly wanted to screw my head off for handing in my leaving school form late. And when she gave me a couple of forecast certs to be handed out to my classmates, I nearly wanted to request for her to do one for me too.

But seeing her look so err, busy, I dared not speak a word.

Anyway it's been said that next week is gonna be the final week in school. So all the form fives are expected to rot at home beginning next friday ... right until the first SPM paper *zzz*

You know what they say when you tease someone and that someone would sneeze? well apparently, I got jinxed back in return. Initially wanted to rant about something and bitch about someone, but I kept sneezing so *shrugs* ... will save it for the future ;)

Was doing some dumb thinking a few hours ago and then I thought about how college life would be. Seriously, I can wait to go to college; I don't wanna start schooling again, not until I've treated myself nicely after 11 years in national school. I've been told about how bAAAd being in college could be: girls being erm, wild; boys flirting around; lecturers not doing their job well; food in college that could cost a bomb ...

Of course, i know not everybody in college are like that. Or so I hope :S

I've satisfied myself with enough blogging ^^

phobias...

2005-10-16T17:53:00.000+08:00

I'm out of interesting stuff to blog. Guess I'm gonna end this thing one day. No, I mean, I'm gonna start a new blog. Cause this one sucks and I need a new layout. Boohoo.

And oh, according to this site, I'm:

acrophobia/altophobia (fear of heights)
aeroacrophobia (fear of open high places)
agliophobia (fear of pain)
aichmophobia (fear of needles/pointed objects)
amathophobia (fear of dust)
apiphobia (fear of bees)
arachnephobia (fear of spiders)
arithmophobia (fear of numbers)
arsonphobia (fear of fire)
atychiphobia (fear of failure)
automysophobia (fear of being dirty)
catapedaphobia (fear of jumping from high places)
ceraunophobia (fear of thunder)
coprastasophobia (fear of constipation)
coulrophobia (fear of clowns)
defecaloesiophobia (fear of painful bowel movements)
entomophobia (fear of insects)
herpetophobia (fear of reptiles)
isopterophobia (fear of termites)
lilapsophobia (fear of tornadoes and hurricanes)
lockiophobia/maieusiophobia (fear of childbirth)
mottephobia (fear of moths)
mycophobia (fear of mushrooms)
necrophobia (fear of death)
nosophobia (fear of being ill)
obesophobia (fear of gaining weight)
odontophobia (fear of dental surgery)
ophthalmophobia (fear of being stared at)
pediophobia (fear of dolls)
phasmophobia (fear of ghosts)
pteronophobia (fear of being tickled by feathers)
ranidaphobia (fear of frogs)
spheksophobia (fear of wasps)
tomophobia (fear of surgical operations)
trypanophobia (fear of injections)

I remember I USED to be:
ailurophobia (fear of cats)
bathmophobia (fear of stairs or steep slopes)
cyclophobia (fear of bicycles)
cynophobia (fear of dogs)
dentophobia (fear of dentists)
dromophobia (fear of crossing streets)
menophobia (fear of menstruation)
pentheraphobia (fear of mother)
soceraphobia (fear of parents)
xenophobia (fear of foreigners)

OMG, I can't believe anglophobia (fear of england), dutchphobia (fear of dutch), sinophobia (fear of chinese) and germanophobia (fear of germany) actually exist 0_o

* * *

I'm lousy when it comes to choosing the right birthday present for someone. Let's just say that the same lame photo frame idea is still wandering around my brain. I know it's lame, so I need to think of something else. SIgh. This is gonna be funny, though. I didn't get a single bday gift from my FRIENDS; is it really worth spending so much time cracking my brains just to think of something special and unique for them? :(

But then again, I'm trying to be as good as I can before school officially ends. I want to be remembered as THE girl who doesn't mind being generous to other people when no one has been generous to ME instead. Blekz. Just kidding, lol.

Signing out ^^

bad tastes?

2005-10-09T18:33:00.000+08:00

mood: so-so
music: greenday - wake me up when september ends

Someone wants to knock me on my head for not realizing that it's already October. Someone wants me to start a countdown to SPM shit - something that I've also done 2 years back before PMR. Someone volunteers to give me a bio/chem/physics quiz, since I already "know all the facts".

Sounds pathetic, huh? But it's even more pathetic now that I've kept all my reference books aside and keep fiddling with my new digicam. My history textbook is right in front of me. I just studied 2 pages of malaysian independance and immediately after that, my brain sent an impulse so that my fingers would move towards the computer switch.

Moving on ...

I realized that I don't, and will never, have great taste in everything. Be it food, movies, books, clothes, songs, and even *gulp* guys. Sigh. And that probably explains why I tend to copy other people. This annoys everybody ... it annoys me too. I tried to stick to my own opinions and all, but aah, trouble starts when people go against me.

Me: Adam (of 8tv) is anything but cute.
Friend: Nooo...he's like, one of the cutest 'made in malaysia' guys. See, I took a pic with him the other day at some function *shows pic in handphone*
Me: Still ugly ... I mean him :P
Friend: Die la you!

My choice in almost every single thing is basically odd. I use a so-called 'useless' facial wash, has a collection of 'cheap' giordano tees, read the 'oh-soo-lame' harry potter books, listen to 'stupid' songs, etc.

Bah. Can't blame them ... but you can't blame me too. I'm being brought up this way. I'm lame, yes. I'm boring, yes.

I'd give chocolates to whoever who hasn't been lame/boring for once. Hit me back if you want chocos. Show me proof, too :)

Will return to school tomorrow. I haven't been there since ... 27/9 :O I'm gonna screw my pre-SPM papers no matter what ... I hardly studied at home >.<

Days left to SPM: 36

kiss asses

2005-10-06T15:24:00.000+08:00

mood: nerdy
music: none

I'm stuck in my house 24/7; with the computer and TV and food and not to mention, books to entertain me. Man, am the luckiest person on earth or what? *rolls eyes*

Aah..but nevermind. My books still smell great anyway.

---SICK POST AHEAD---

I've learnt an extremely important lesson already. It's so *bleep*ing important, you'll immediately give yourself one tight slap on the face for taking IT for granted. So trust me, folks, pamper your ass more.

My butt has been sick during the past few days, and although the pain has already lessen now, it's still giving me the creeps whenever I try to sit or stand. I'm going to hammer my head now for several reasons:

- for straining myself (or my butt?!) on the toiletbowl
- for applying some *bleep*ing cream and it almost mutated my ass
- for just being a plain idiot

Love your ass more, regardless of its size and/or shape. So go on, it doesn't hurt a tiny bit to pat it more often, and er, just don't get constipated la, alrite? ;)

---SICK POST ENDS---

I think I'll get more people to visit my blog LOL. But considering the fact that it really takes some time, I'll probably do it after the exams. Haven't you already realised that I'm actually hungry for attention? Like ... all the time? Haha.

Sadly, I'll have to admit that I'm not sporting, so I tend to delete posts with MY pictures. I DO take pictures of myself when I have the time, but too bad I still don't have the guts to post them up. The thought of somebody who actually teased me when he saw my pic is making me ... weak. Urggh.

But hey, I should be given a (no, make it two) thumbs up for posting my kiddy pictures. Lol, kidding (but I seriously don't mind for the thumbs up).

down memory lane...

2005-10-04T15:00:00.000+08:00

mood: nonchalant
music: none

[edit: this entry won't stay for too long. I'll delete this later~]

I got tagged by Liz. Ah, my first time being tagged :D

Psst. I don't have a lot of interesting pictures to share. But I managed to scan a few (and don't mind them being so tiny, yah?), so, here goes nothing:

1988 (My arrival)

On the 22nd of august, at about 10.30pm, my mother gave birth to me, the *ahem* gorgeous lil fatty bom-bom (I was 8 pounds, can you believe it?). My mum was pratically screaming her lungs out, and was probably saying, "Oh you..you fat thing...hurry up and get OUT!!!". Haha.

I managed to make my parents happy (oh really...?) and all, since I was their first child. I was also fed with all sorts of weird medicines (?!?) to keep me nourished. I also took some brain-enhancing shits to make me smarter. Yeah right.

People were afraid to carry me or pinch my cheeks for fear that I would cry my eyes out. A way to tell them to get their hands off me, since I couldn't speak yet. LOL kidding. That was probably how I got most of the attention from my mum and dad until ... a monkey was born 3 years later. Tsk.

Monkey was stoning while I 'showed' him how to cut the burfday cake. Eesh.

1995 (Ten years ago)

So I was 7 and my mum made me enter SRK Assunta. Reason number one why my mum wouldn't send me to a co-ed school was because assunta was a "very very good" school. Reason number two was because she was afraid I would get bullied by boys. My dad was against the idea of sending me to a national school, but my mum knew me best. My chinese was bAAAd and the only language I knew was english. Now I can't imagine myself doing sign languages to people if I were in a chinese school -__-

I wasn't really friendly in school back then, but I was mean. I remember I used to pull off this muslim girl's tudung just because I didn't like her. I also created another name for myself and told my other friends to call me that particular name. Damn dumb. And I was famous for being a crybaby in school. Boohoo~

I got my first bicycle (you know, the one with those 2 little wheels attached to the last wheel?), got more masak-masak sets from parents (I especially adored the mcdonald's ones - super cool!), got my first piano, frequent trips to Genting Highlands, etc. Aah..the fun!

Bro didn't seem to like the er...intimate moments :(

At the end of the year, I got second in class. The prize was hilarious - only 2 ultra thin story books and nothing else. Sigh.

Me being over the moon over a couple of thin story books. Haih.

2000 (Five years ago)

I was 12 and moved on to standard six. Fine, it was happy millenium and all, but 2000 wasn't a really good year for me.

I got into a lot of trouble with my friends and yes, teachers -__-. I used to piss this teacher off by submitting the wrong result of this shitty science experiment. And then I made things worse by refusing to help her throw her own *bleep* rubbish. I moved from one gang to another. I was obviously heartbroken when my best friends left me, because of god-knows-what. So whenever I bump into them in secondary school, there's still this sense of awkward-ness in me. Hohoho.

Then I was forced to have this mushroom-ish haircut. Possibly the WORST haircut I've ever had. But boohoo, I'm not gonna show pictures of the mushroomy me here. My father bought me my first ever computer, which was really really great at the time. Cousin influenced me to watch those videos (*ahem* they were MUSIC vids, not porno, ookaay?) and I started to bug my mum to buy me entertainment magazines as well as music CDs (original and pirated). Got hooked to mtv and I was jumping in excitement when this mtv VJ (can't remember his name...too bad it wasn't Utt) was reading my song request thingy. Haha.

And my interest towards piano lessons started to fade. My teacher would take her stupid-looking cane and whack both my palms for the slightest stupid mistake! Like when I told her that she hadn't taught me about so-and-so, when in actual fact, she DID ... she started hitting my palms 20 times; 10 times on each palm. Like what the hell, I got caned for being forgetful?! I know she was pregnant at the time and all, but, so what? Just because she had a baby inside her belly, she can abuse me is it? Damn, I haven't even got the guts to scream at my current teacher when I'm PMSing. Pfft.

I also developed a liking towards writing. My stories got published in some magazine twice and I also kept writing in my diary to pass time. Strangely, my malay essays got really high marks back then, but now (2005), they're all so lousy, even primary school kids would tease my works :P

I managed to get all As in UPSR, which was really something that I didn't really expect. I had never gotten an A for science in school before, btw.

2002 (Three years ago)

Yay, so I was 14 and was in my second year in SMK assunta.

If you've read my previous post on my school years, you'd find out that I wasn't much of a good girl in 2002. I screwed a lot of people, made my report card look ugly, etc.

2 Anggerik '02. Look out for a very pathetic-looking me.

Friends introduced me to the online world, with neopets being the first online thing I got addicted to. I got introduced to harry potter too; reading all the books but only managed to buy 3 of them. Heh.

Got hit by puberty and only started to grow taller at the end of 2002.

2005 (Now)

I started to get a lot more addicted to the internet. My results were still bAAAd. I mixed with people whom I was never close with during my lower secondary years. Which was great. Bah, 'study' is the magic word of 2005.

Then my brother and I had this no-talking-and-looking-at-each-other thing that started on february 2005 until ... now. Honestly this whole thing is sick, because I can't stand my brother looking so lanci everytime he walks pass me. The only good outcome of this is I can finally stay in my room in peace, rather than being disturbed when my brother would enter my room and start pissing me off.

I got my first digital camera, and then started to take more pictures of myself. Now starting to develop first few symptoms of camwhoritis. Or whatever you call it :P

Ta-daa!! Introducing my latest sweetheart.

And yes, I put on more weight. Hooray~

2006 (Next year)

SPM is over and my next stop will be HELP University-College where I'll study A Levels. I'll be able to know more people and learn more things. I could have my P license and start driving around in my mum's car *rolls eyes*. I'll probably get my first laptop too.

I'll sit for my grade 8 piano practical exam, which I'm dying to PASS, because failing it means I'll have to suffer learning ~~that dumb instrument~~ the piano again. Seriously. And when everything's over, I hope to play the guitar, cause it seriously rocks. *jumps on bed and plays air guitar*

I'll also get fatter, face rounder, still single, still dependant on my parents, lazier than ever, etc.

Not forgetting, I'll still blog till I drop ;)

2015 (Ten years later)

If the world is still as good as cupcakes, I'll be 27 years old; time to spot wrinkles and all. Hehe. I'll probably be working at some lousy company, being paid a lousy salary, adapting to a lousy environment ... sigh.

It'll be my turn to look after my parents too *sniff* I'll also get slightly fatter, starting to grow desperate for anti-aging and slimming pills or whatnots, and hopefully dating my dream dude ...

I don't see myself being married so quickly, though. So no wedding bells for me till I turn 30-ish. But I can tell how my friends will do.. Hehe..so-and-so will probably get married to her current bf and have cute kids together; another so-and-so will continue drooling on all members of a boyband, even when they aren't famous anymore; while one more so-and-so will probably start an 'Independant Women' campaign to wake desperate ~~housewives~~ women up so they will stop depending on men. Hmm...if my predictions are true, people should really pay me for this. Haha.

I do hope all my past classmates will start a cool gathering. I've heard news of a bunch of people, who were classmates 50 years ago, could still meet each other just recently. It'll be great fun seeing how they all look like 10 years later, with their kids and husbands and all ...

And I definitely hope to have my own website with my own domain. I'm imagining myself being greater than kenny sia, so ... ehehe!

Predicting the future is great fun ... I should do this more often.

I tag: all kind-hearted souls who actually read my blog. Do leave a comment if you wish to do this :D

in retrospect...

2005-09-26T11:02:00.000+08:00

mood: bored
music: savage garden - truly madly deeply

School is about to end soon *sniff* I'm not too sure if I'm gonna cry my eyes off later or not, but erm ... *thinks hard* nah, crying doesnt seem to be appropriate. I should do something else ;)

This entry is going to be long, I suppose~ I'm gonna try to recall all the most memorable stuff during my secondary school years in assunta. When I say memorable, it's either gonna be something good or bad. Anyway, it's mostly bad since I was always the main troublemaker and all. Hmm...read on.

1 anggerik (2001)
I must have been one of the most lonely people back then. I didn't get to blend with my classmates until a couple of months later ... unlike some of them who already got to know everyone in just a couple of weeks. So I wasn't this friendly or bubbly girl or something; constantly trying to seek attention by irritating other people. Cheated during a moral exam and ended up at the teacher's office. I didn't get to be a probationer; I watched with envy everytime most of my classmates walked around with the probationer tag.
Biggest achievement: second best in history :)

2 anggerik (2002)
I caused too many troubles this year. First, I actually argued with my then best friend and that sorta freaked her out a bit, I think. Then I was rude to someone because she wouldn't lend me her book; she sorta dislikes me until now. I also backstabbed some people. Aarggh...I was such a fucking devil back then >.< My math results deteriorated and dad showed me his 'fierce' face at home. He almost wanted to slap my face. I also learnt a few [bad] slang words :)
Biggest achievement: almost none -__-

3 anggerik (2003)
Because I realised how bitchy I was in 2002, I decided to *ahem* turn into a new leaf. Haha. so basically I kept a low profile to myself and didn't really mix with a lot of people, except those who were seated near me. My interest towards math started to fade because my teacher wouldn't stop asking me to come forward to do those sums on the blackboard. Haha, stupid reason to hate math, right? Had fun hearing crush stories from a friend ... made me realise how cool falling in love could be ;)
Biggest achievement: straight As in PMR 0_o

4 science 2 (2004)
I used to doubt how I was going to 'live' in this class, since I didn't really know majority of my classmates. It took me some time before I realised how COOOOOL my class was. Failed my papers for the first time since time immemorial. Teachers were scary; they were either not too good in teaching, or too capable until they tend to call themselves as a 'scientist'. Managed to get into the [lame] probationing business and eventually got to be a prefect.
Biggest achievement: A's in all EST exams

5 science 2 (2005)
Year full of great fun and experience, I think. And not forgetting, times when I got too stressed out before exams or anything. Oh what the heck, I can't recall of anything right now~
Biggest achievement: yet to find out

But of course, there're still a couple of people who I kinda dislike, and scared of ... from the beginning till now. Especially people who show their attitudes when they don't get what they want (X: i want ice-cream. Y: no. X: *stamps foot on ground*). And strangely enough, I'm especially afraid of people who are so not ... them aka double-faced. Freaks me out because one moment they're like this but after a blink of an eye, they turn into something/someone else :P

Actually I don't need to make myself feel so ... blah. Just that part of me really wants to set the goal and do it, and the other part keeps telling me that ONLY smartasses can do it and that I should just forget the whole lameass goal. And oh yes, I wanna come back to school in the middle of next year for speech day, when they give certs for top scorers. I know the school rewards peeps with 8As and above.

Fine, I'm lame. And I'm hungry for more attention from everyone. Now sue me :P

Of course, during all those years in school, I've managed to get really really cool friends. They were the ones who kinda influenced me to do things that are both good and bad. They influenced me to be a crazy internet addict, study non-stop so I could beat them academically, complete my homework, etc. I'm glad that I don't really change my friends in any way ... okay, maybe except how they think of me as time passes by and all. I know I'm not a strong person; strong in a sense that I can avoid any influence my friends or other people can pass to me.

Will write more about school later. I'm too dumb to think of anything now. This entry isn't long after all~

forcin'

2005-09-23T22:57:00.000+08:00

mood: hungry (fine, it's not a mood then!!)
music: none

Gah, the last entry was dumb. I just thought I shouldn't have gone so mad over a stupid gerak gempur, even if the grade is important. so, why waste time thinking about it when there's already nothing to be done to patch things up?

Went to school today and got more papers. sadly, I didn't manage to get an A for history. I do feel sad, because history's always been my favourite subject (though I have to admit, I don't like the contents in the school's textbook). And looking back at my old report card, history's my second best subject, only after english. Sigh.

I am SO looking forward to being disappointed again. But I won't go as far as crying my eyes off LOL (I do know of someone who did exactly that). And I'm now imagining the consequences I'm about to face when my mum knows that I flunk add math again ~

Sigh. I need to force myself to practise some add math. But then again, it's all like feeding bananas to cows; cows don't eat bananas, but they're still being fed with bananas. Anyway I heard from someone who must be a spy at the education ministry, that 60% is already considered as a 2A in SPM. I was (still am) amused =/

I just realised that my parents aren't really that bad after all. I mean, at least they don't refuse to give me money when I ASK for it, or force me to pay about half of the phone bill, or *cough* tell me to buy things with my OWN money :S

Of course, my mother is still the 'queen of nags' and she occasionally makes small matters seem big. I'm just thankful that they haven't really started controlling my financial stuff. Maybe they already knew that I don't really spend too much and that I could only dare to DREAM of buying fancy stuff. I got bored of the usual 'NO' when I asked to buy toys when I was little, so until now, I have this habit of thinking twice (or sometimes, more) before actually asking my parents to buy me anything. And they only think that I'm joking when I ask them to buy me an mp3 player. Explore my room and you'll be amazed at how plain it is. Okay, besides the flat screen computer, there's simply nothing more to be proud of :(

Hmm...I was switching between channels an hour ago and watched malaysian idol for the second time in two years. I don't really get it why this country can't be original. They steal ideas from american idol, the amazing race, fear factor, etc. LOL, no offence, okay? But just ... kinda wondering why we can't be the first to create something that may even make other countries to 'steal' our ideas too.

Gawd, I need sleep. Beginning next week, I'll be officially training myself to be the *junior* queen of truancy. School no longer interests me anymore, and attending school every day only means complete boredom. And btw, my testimonial is so blardy plain, I'm starting to imagine what those people would say when they interview me or something :P

Signing off ^^

odd

2005-09-20T21:38:00.000+08:00

mood: screwed
music: gavin degraw - i don't want to be

I swear I've never done this badly in any of my previous BM exams. Oh gawd. You see, I've actually written the shortest essay possible - probably the shortest among all the other essays from the whole f5 in my school. So when my teacher came and collected my paper, she stared at it because obviously mine was kinda odd.

Friend A: you should at least crap, instead of writing only a few words there ...
Me: i know, i mean, not that i didn't wanna crap, but my brain was empty. just tell me how i was supposed to write more.

Friend B: i saw you sleeping when the rest were busy writing *grins*
Me: thanks for checking me out, yah? 0_o

Sigh. I am so ready to fail BM for the first time :S

Here I am begging anyone to tell me if the gerak gempur results are included in the cert. My parents would punch me till I bleed before I melt if they see 5 words on my cert: tidak layak untuk sijil SPM (not qualified for SPM cert).

I need yoga lessons :P

Anyway, there'll be another round of science exams in october. But the results are not really important because the exams only serve as final preparation for the f5s before doomsday. Won't be silly to choose not to sit for them ;)

Bah. Exams, exams. Level of stress is already shooting up; let's just hope that I don't die so soon, yah? ;)

wonders

2005-09-19T15:24:00.000+08:00

mood: bored
music: nickelback - photograph

It's been 3 years since I first entered the blogosphere. My entries were pretty boring those days and almost no one read them. I don't know how they are (in this blog) today, but blogging is fun and I'm lovin it!! =)

I might try out any/all of these: audioblog and videolog. But I guess I'll have to wait till later because I don't talk clearly (because I have braces) and I don't have a nice face to show to the whole world. Haha. At the meantime, I'm trying out both of the new forms of blogging with my phone. w00t!

I just got obsessed with the tv again. How fun~ The number of hours I used to spend was like 1-2 hours. Now it just slowly increases. Which obviously means that there's no time to study for SPM. Sigh.

The mooncake festival has always been something rather ... quiet to me. I remember I used to visit my friends to light up candles outside their house and play lanterns and indulge in mooncakes when we were little. Now it's all quiet and guess what, I haven't even eaten a single mooncake this year. And I don't see the full moon appearing in the sky~

LAtely I have this stupid habit of looking at the mirror every few *minutes* or so. Damn, I'm getting more and more conscious of my looks (and my dumb looking hair). And when I saw this pretty actress acting on tv, I was like, 'Dang! Im ugly'. Bah. I was also wondering how I would look like if my mother didn't marry my father, but someone else. Because I inherited most genes from my father's side :S Round face, small eyes, weird eyelids, ~~ugly teeth~~, ...

Lol, was only wondering for fun, so dad, don't come and shoot me alright? :D But then again, I wish I had the looks >.<

Got some papers today. Nearly got a heart attack after getting back my add math paper. And it sucks to read malay prose all over again for tomorrow's BM gerak gempur~

chillin' right now

2005-09-15T15:44:00.000+08:00

mood: relaxed
music: goo goo dolls - iris

Like hells yea!! My trials are over, though there're already rumours saying that we have to sit for our science papers again. I don't really mind as long as the previous papers' results aren't going to be included in my cert. If the rumours are really true, I guess I'm just gonna double the times I spent studying for the previous papers. I. Need to. Friggin. Make sure. That I. Don't. Merely. Pass. My sciences!!!

It's embarassing. The JPS papers are so friggin ~~easy~~ different from the school's and I still flunk them. And then I feel even more ashamed when I fail to beat someone who's no doubt smarter than me. And nope, I'm NOT talking about the number 1 kid in my class ;)

And est kills. The teacher had decided to give all sorts of long-winded and confusing passages to give us me a taste of getting a dumb B for what must be the easiest paper in SPM. Hohoho, and guess what, the taste sucks just like blended roaches with extra bull eyeballs and rotten coconuts and mice intestines and tarantula's legs and poisonous scorpions. >.<

Predictions: Trials results. (revised)

bm - 4B
english - 2A
mod math - 2A
add math - 9G
history - 5C
moral - 3B
biology - 4B 6C
chemistry - 6C
physics - 6C
est - 2A 3B

Anyway I've got a series of super dumb dreams during the past few nights. Most of them were so bad, I actually made sure they weren't for real when i woke up the next morning. Because I'm bored, and because I feel like crapping my arse off today, I'm going to list all my recent dreams/nightmares here.

- my room turning into a nest for a huge colony of huge black nasty fast ants. when i turned to saw them moving on my ceiling (holy shit, there were lots of them, seemed more like...millions) they moved even faster than usual. then i called my mum, who quickly grabbed the insecticide. she sprayed it towards the ants and they kinda froze and died. and because they were at the ceiling, and thanks to the *ahem* force of gravity, all of them fell one-by-one down the floor and on my bed. they just fell down like bird poo. eeww.

- i was at my cousin's apartment, i think. i was in this particular room which had this huge window that faced the bathroom's [huge] window. gross, and stupid, i know. but it's a dream, so ... yea, then my cousin was in the bathroom. and he (daym, yes, it's a guy) started to undress and everything. then he removed his undies. i didn't wanna see because well, it's gross, so i turned behind and just covered my eyes with my hands ... but then, something hit me and told me that i SHOULD look. the dreamy me followed, and saw my cousin naked - from head to toe. and so i saw everything, but a little different for a 20-year-old guy, if you ask me. *takes deeeeeep breath, taps finger on keyboard, stones* believe me, i thought the --->hairless organs<--- belonged to ~~my brother~~ an 8-year-old.

- my friends and i were in school for some canteen day shit. so we were walking, then one of my friends and i had an argument. or something. but we still continued walking together before we stopped at this particular point where there were a lot of people. i turned to ask one of them, but the person i just argued with dragged my other friends to this place far from where i stood. she whispered something to them while giving me that evil look she was/is famous for ;) then all of them walked away and left me alone. all alone :'(

Okay, so dream #2 was fucking dumb. I have no idea how this dream came by, because never in my life would I actually WANT to look at a guy's dick. Those dreams aren't good; they're all terrifying and stupid. I need good dreams, man. Dreams that make sense and are possible to come true ... hehehe~

Random thoughts:
- I don't know what's got into me, but I feel like visiting ... wax museums.
- I think I'm homophobic :S

of dogs and amnesia

2005-09-11T16:16:00.000+08:00

mood: amused
music: none

Now why would anyone be afraid of a dog that's not going to be too harmful to them? I mean, yes, they're known to be *fierce*, but it's not like they're gonna jump to you and eat your flesh out when they see you.

So my piano teacher was being lame and she freaked out when she saw a dog outside her house. It's funny, though, cause she stays in a condo and I've got no idea how the dog managed to climb all the way up. The door was locked but when the dog came near it, my teacher actually jumped off her initial position and ran some place else :P And I was still there sitting in front of the darn piano feeling slightly amused. So she quickly SLAMMED the inner [wooden] door for fear that the dog would actually squeeze its way inside.

Damn. I can understand if it's a 6-year-old reacting like this, but ... a fully grown woman?! Kiddyness *shakes head* ~~It's things like these that make me wanna give her a slap on the face~~.

I like dogs. But seriously not the miserable looking chihuahuas or poodles or anything, though ;) Still, I'm not planning to keep any of them as a pet because ...
- my mum ~~hates~~ doesn't like dogs
- cleaning up dog poo is shitty business
- my house's area is about 800+ sq ft??

Here's a condition that is no longer RARE under my roof:

mum: son, are you still playing your computer games?
bro: yah..
mum: i'll come over to your room TOMORROW and snatch away your modem
bro: *speechless*

The next day:
mum: son, why aren't you studying?
bro: busy replying to IMs.
mum: you using the computer again?
bro: yah...
mum: don't think i won't snatch your modem. i'll do it TOMORROW.
bro: *gives a come-on-in-if-you-will-make-sure-you-wont-forget look*

Heh heh..no prizes for guessing what happened the next day. And the next. SIGH. I feel like telling my mum that I could volunteer to do the dirty work for her. But nuh huh, I don't think I've got ANYTHING to do with my mum-bro's monkey business, so.. xD Besides, i don't pay the monthly phone bills; I won't get blind if my bro hogs the comp; I won't fail a MINIMUM 3 subs by seeing my bro online 4-5 times a day (err..wait, this CAN be possible :S)...*shrugs*

Can't wait till my trials are over. Anyway, I've only got a few subs left then I'm going to go back to my studying ways again.

Life is amusing. *big laugh*

i like sneezing

2005-09-08T17:18:00.000+08:00

mood: sick
music: none

Bah. I'm sick. Really sick.

flu + mild cough + chest pain + bad moods = me.

Boy, PMS sure is something to look forward to :)

Anyways, ~~I screwed my science~~ science screwed me up. Completely. To be honest, the papers didn't seem to be too hard, not when you compare them to those set by the school or anything. I've made stupid mistakes in ALL my sciences and obviously my chances to get at least 65% and above have become slim.

And oh, your smartness doesn't fall from the sky. It just came naturally since you were still sucking on your mum's nutrients in her belly. I realised it. And stupid medicines that claimed to make kids smarter or gain a higher IQ level are fake. I happen to have taken some brain-enhancing stuff when I was younger. It worked a bit, I think ... but now the effect is slowly fading awaaaay -__-

I'm looking forward to having a badly printed trials cert. You'll see ;)

Predictions: Trials results.

bm - 4B
english - 2A
mod math - 2A
add math - 9G
history - 5C
moral - 3B
biology - 4B
chemistry - 6C
physics - 6C
est - 2A

HEY!!! 3As doesnt look too baaad! *sarcasm*

Friend: if i get straight a's in my spm, i donate all my money to beggars.
Me: .....

Thats how crazy some people can go. So desperate to get As. As for me, I'd rather use up all my money rather than pulling my hairs and all just to get 10. I'm not desperate; I only want 8. But, *points at above predictions* unless the papers are suddenly going tooo easy, otherwise ...

If only a fairy suddenly emerges out of nowhere, I would ask for something shameless like this:

bm - 2A
english - 1A
mod math - 1A
add math - 5C
history - 2A
moral - 2A
biology - 2A
chemistry - 2A
physics - 3B
est - 2A

Seriously, I dont mind 2As. There're As after all. And note that the subjects that I don't expect/want to get A for are those that I hate the most. SIGH. Oh wait, there're a few things that are going to spoil my plan:

moral - this has always been something rather unfair for non-malays. all the values that we have to painstakingly memorize are all related to each other. so yes, it's still okay to write all of them for one question. however, its the stupid marking scheme who's being such a bitch. and all the 99.9% fake moral projects? *yawn*

biology - nothing too serious, really. i just don't like the part where further/specific explanations are required, thats all :)

chemistry - there are HUNDREDS of experiments to be memorized. and i suck when it comes to formulas and such :P

est - they say it all depends on your luck. if the answer on the answer sheet matches yours, you're right. if it doesn't (like when it misses one word ... that sort of stuff), then dont fret. simply stuff 30 bucks into the education dept.'s people's mouth and PRAY that they actually recheck your paper. or be the first to sue them for not giving us the extra A. lol jk.

Enough crapping, i guess. Ciaoz ^^

kill me

2005-09-03T15:34:00.000+08:00

mood: angry
music: colplay - fix you

I hate the way my parents think. Why can't they just stop being lame for a while?

If they think TUITION is 101% effective to help me get those pathetic 10As, I would rather they kill me instead. At least it's better than wasting so much time doing nothing but crap during tuition. Forcing me to go for tuition is like indirectly telling me that I can't do ANYTHING by myself, and I need help all the time. Or that I would be guaranteed a failure if I TRY to do things. What bugs me the MOST is that my math tutor's math sucks like anything else. He writes bullshit on the board and in the end, it's US, the ever-so-patient students who need to point out his mistakes. WTF?

I've been testing my patience a lot lately, but this really has got into my nerves. My father doesn't want to be fully (or at least half?) responsible for my tertiary education thingie, so my mum advised me to apply for some scholarship from private companies instead. Or get a loan from some bank. I don't find it surprising that my father doesn't really seem to care, and he just plainly suggested that I go to form six instead. He has always been some sorta a cheapskate person, who finds it really really painful to get his cash out of his wallet.

He's gonna retire anytime in a few years' time. I can't imagine what he's planning to do with his money (I just found out that the total has about urm..5 digits). Great. So by the time he retires, he's likely to be a millionaire. I'm not kidding >.<

I thought a seventeen-year-old already has the rights to determine her future. Why must my parents do MOST of it for me? I chose to go college, sit for my A levels, get a degree, start working and if it's raining money bags, I might just further my studies LOL (okay, this is going to be SOO unlikely).

Anyway when I told my mum that I would like to quit math tuition (politely, mmkay?), muahahaha, mum erupted. It happened in the car so I found it really difficult to cover my ears and all. Yes, yes, I'm mean. But fuck, I would rather just quit as many tuition classes as possible just to save money so I can happily enter college. And not use any of my parents' ideas (form six, bank loan, scholarship, etc.). I know that they just think, 'Oh, I've wasted so much money on you monkeys' tuition fees, so you better get those As'.

First of all, I never forced my parents to give me tuition lessons. The only tuition subject that I APPRECIATE the most is add math, or physics. The rest are just so ... bah. My mum doesn't believe me when I told her that my math tutor's bad. Bad in the sense that he talks to himself (or the board), and he screws up simultaneous equations with the wrong digits at the wrong places. *shakes head*

And I don't mean to say that my math rocks more than my socks. I really don't think I've got serious problems with my math, though I must admit that I'm pretty bad at statistics and graphs. And those were the only things that pulled my marks down. I only got forced into tuition because my mum wasn't satisfied with my marks. Sometimes I wonder why can't she just attend tuition for me, since she cares so bloody much about MARKS! So yes, I only asked to quit math tuition and I already got fireballs spit all over my face >.< And a few hours before that, I actually thought of quitting chemistry tuition too (math tutor = chem tutor). Ohmigod.

Ooh, yes, do you think I can really get a scholarship? Based on my filthy results? Look, I failed my subjects before, so I must have about urm, 10% chance to get approved? I dunno, but I do know that there must be more top scorers out there who failed to get help from the government, so they're sure to head to private companies for a chance. Well, unless I get straight As, and the director doesn't mind my school exam results, then maybe I should get about 40% chance. Sigh. And I am below average when it comes to co-curricular activities :P

My parents spend RM 400+ on tuition fees per month for my brother and I. My brother used to say that my parents were only "wasting money" because his results sucked and he blamed tuition for his failure. I don't agree on his point, because he spends more time on his online games than on tuition and that we're wasting more money on the phone bill.

I can't wait to leave school. Life without tuition is definitely bliss. Thank goodness my add math tutor plays a major (yes, you read it right) role on teaching me add math. My school teacher only makes things worse and I salute those who never find it hard to concentrate in class! Oh, and my tutor who also painstakingly did 98% of my previous add math project for us. Aahh...so very nice of her :)

I hate to say this but: I wish I was rich. I wish I had an open-minded mother. I wish I had an understanding father. SIGH.

I've always been doing things all by myself since I was little. I don't ask for help unless I'm really desperate for one (durh?!). When I get good results, my mum praise me in front of her friends/relatives.

Mister: So how many As did your daughter get in her PMR?
Dad: Very little lar. Not too many only.
Mister: Just tell lar, I'm sure my son isn't as good as your daughter.
Dad: No lar...she only got 7As.
Mister: WHAT? Straight As not enough ar?
Dad: :)

That's what I heard outside his office, btw. With my own ears. I know my dad's being modest, but being TOO modest can only make other people think that he's arrogant after all. Bad is bad. Straight is straight. Unless my dad's not proud of my achievement, that is. Sheesh.

I'm going to go out there and get good results in my SPM. Not for scholarships, not for my parents' friends to praise about, not for my family's so-called Hall-of-Fame *rolls eyes* ... but purely to prove that I can do it. *takes deep breath*

Apart from playing a role in my job application, further studies, etc. : what other roles do good results play?

On a much brighter note, first week of trials just passed. I totally screwed BM 2 and history. And my stupid english essay. So yea, maybe I shouldn't be doing fictional continuous essay in SPM. I ain't a creative person and my lame ideas just make my story even lamer. I'm not looking forward to sitting for my sciences yet. GAH!!

Study time again. Ciaoz ^^

of being impatient

2005-08-30T17:25:00.000+08:00

mood: impatient
music: none

I miss my blog. And I'm bored. Sigh, malay lite is slowly taking my life away; it completely BORES me to death :S And you've gotta read a total of fifty (50) lite stuff only to expect one (1) title coming out from each category. And goodness knows how it really feels like to read malay prose for 48 hours >.<

I'm just gonna read through everything; it seems so impossible to memorize 50 different themes and plots and whatnots. I still have my history to deal with, ya know.

Have been rotting at home for the past 10 days or so (lazy to count). Of course it's boring here; I hardly go out nowadays and my eyes are glued to either books or my comp. Or the tv. I can't wait to get my ass back to school this thursday, when my trials will officially start. Everything seems to happen so quickly. The last time I counted the days to trials, I got like what, 40 over days? And in less than 2 months, I'll be sitting for SPM which definitely concludes everything I've learned for 2 years. And then I'll be shown the exit :(

I can't wait to quit boring tuition classes. Not all of them are useful anyway.
I can't wait to burn my books (ahaha jk)
I can't wait to finish studying malay lite.
I can't wait to get my own credit card ...

My mum's FINALLY getting a digital camera for me. And all I had to do was just ask anyway *shrugs* You see, almost 80% of all the things I own are bought by my mum; 15% by me (I withdraw my bank money occasionally); remaining 5% by dad. Asking my father to buy me something is like asking a male mosquito to suck human blood. I'll probably need to to jinx my father to buy me the latest nike sneakers ... sigh :P

If only I had a credit card, I'd not hesitate to buy birthday pressies for people. There was once when I saw this CD that I was sure my friend would like; it cost about RM 40+ ?! can't remember, but it was kinda pricey for a birthday present though. Mum refused to pay for it so I ended up giving a not-so-cheap memory lane card instead :P See ya ^^

gonneeee!

2005-08-22T12:35:00.000+08:00

mood: great!!
music: avril lavigne - losing grip

Wowee!

Happy Burfday to MEEEEE!!!

cakes = 0
candles blown = 0
balloons and stuff = 0
birthday wishes = 4 (as at 11am)
birthday gifts = 2

SIGH. And so I sang the birthday song for myself last night:

11.58pm: drank some water to clear throat
11.59pm: tested voice
12.00am: singing started
15 secs. later: singing ended. made 2 wonderful wishes :)

Heh. Wells, my trials are 10 days away. Ooh joy. Haha..

LMAO!!!

And I was thinking maybe after this I'm gonna start posting on my private blog or something. 'Cause it sucks to post sensitive and private stuff here (and cool, people from as far as JAPAN are reading my blog). I've never posted anything on my other blogs, so, I'm really gonna start doing it soon. I just don't like the idea of having peeps who know me closely to read extra private stuff and all. Heh. I could choose between a diary and an online journal. But *knock knock* it's not the stone age anymore, so I'm going for the latter :) Ciaoz ^^

time to change

2005-08-19T16:52:00.000+08:00

mood: geeky
music: none

Life has been too confusing lately. Now that we're all about to face numerous exams, nobody has time to hang out with other people. Anyways, I realised that I need to change my stupid habit of judging other people. I've never been too judgemental until I met people who are too different from me. Now i know I've got no rights whatsoever to judge or rate other people, especially those I'm close to.

It's truly an idiotic thing to do, seeing that I myself am not that perfect either. SIGH. Boohoo. Looks like I'm gonna have one of the dullest birthdays next week :( Not only that it falls on the holidays, but I'll be busy later on (last minute revision, anyone?). Eheheh. Am planning to sing happy birthday to myself when 12am strikes on monday :):):) OMGOMGOMGOMG!!! Days left to SPM: 85

I am SO going to go off now ^^ Take care :)

Random thought: why is my brother making such a big fuss over a single FLY in his room? Gee.

irony

2005-08-18T15:52:00.000+08:00

mood: pissed
music: coldplay - speed of sound

Urrggh..why can't my dad just get me a brand new printer? Anyway my printer's almost 5 years old and it's running slower than my internet connection :P It's all those projects and assignments that make me sick. Bah!

The week hasnt been a good one for me. 'Friends' start to get harsh and everything; it hurts but there's almost nothing to be done, unless I want to cry my eyes out, which is useless ><

Here's my latest hatelist:

physics (I just realised it btw)

crappy projects/assignments that require printing

financial probs

Am going off now. Will probably keep myself from the comp for some time xD Ciaoz ^^

unwell

2005-08-15T05:46:00.000+08:00

mood: sleepy
music: none

Good morning, world! *yawn*

Okay, so I've lost inspirations to blog. And my trials are coming pretty soon, so I'll probably be having a long hiatus soon. Soon. ;)

Anyway, I had diarrhea yesterday. Must be because of those dumplings I ate for breakfast!! >< So I was stuck in the bathroom for like 15 minutes; I ended up feeing slightly dehydrated, legs cramped, tummy FLAT (ahaha!), looking pale... I immediately downed a bottleful of h2o, so I think it kinda helped :) My appetite went back to normal so my tummy wasn't that flat anymore :( LMAO!!

Gah! Finally it's school today. I remember I was really gasping for clean air last week (bus rides, anyone?), and all those wet tissues used to cover my nose and all...Seriously, if nothing is gonna be done to solve the prob (yea yea, the indons are sooo SMART to burn, instead of urm..something else), malaysia is going to be the first country in the world to collapse! I mean, we've been inhaling enough of dust even when there was no haze. So when are those SMART people going to stop apologising every year and use a modern way to get rid of the forest?! Not when our lungs have about 80% of haze in them, right? :P

Okies. Exactly 7 days left till I turn 17! W00t! My mum reckoned I would have a bit of trouble passing my driving test, because I tend to be clumsy at times. Freaking evil, my mum >< LOL jk. Too bad my birthday falls on a holiday; dad promised to give me $$$, mum..so far nothing, bro will probably just give me some more..air. SIgh.

Am going off now. So far the longest time spent on studying alone: 4 hours. Ahaha..almost gone crazy because of that 0_o Ciaoz ^^

the end is approaching

2005-08-09T21:38:00.000+08:00

mood: headache-y
music: simple plan - untitled

Urggh..my school's having some donation drive or something and fifth formers are so NOT spared from it. We won't be having a chance to use any of the future comps they're planning to install in the comp room, neither will we play and jump around like little kids at a possibly nicer school field. ANd they're planning to build a brand new block..as though the school still isn't big enough or it just thinks that the whole of selangor would eventually nest in school in the future. Kidding, lol, but a teacher told us that the school is really running out of classes, so there :)

I don't know if all these are gonna come true or not, but nowadays the school seems to be struggling to provide better stuff for everyone. Hope School wannabe..haha! Such desperados, those people, ever since the new principal came. Sigh.

Senior Prefectorial Board 04/05's retirement day today. Didn't actually expect the whole event to run so badly. Here's to summarise what actually happened this morning:

- form 5 prefects were told to do the walking before the form 4 prefects (initially, the form 4 prefects were to walk first, so..), meaning the former would have to stay on stage for the next 45 minutes or so. Damn, I wouldn't have been complaining much if only they installed FANS on top of the stage. I was ~~sweating~~ perspirating like shit 0_o
- students literally screaming their lungs out when prefects came to stage on a two-by-two basis. But prefects enjoyed the attention, so urm, yea.
- form 5 prefects were given incomplete certs. Pfft.
- form 5 prefects delivered a VERY lame and so-not-catchy song; I think it was pretty obvious that I was only mumbling away :P
- the ingoing prefects delivered only ONE song that's waaaaay too pop-ish for a so-called formal event like this; I still think the old board's performance was still better than the current board's. xD
- school principal didn't look too good when presenting certs
- the emcees were sooo dull -__-

Vest-tossing and photo-snapping next. Fun.

One thing for sure: I still don't like the new head girl. Period.

As if the form 5s are still a bunch of ~~losers~~ kids who have nothing better to do right now, we were finally told to complete our crappy add math project. But aah..thank god for tuition, 'cause the tutor was willing to give me her answers together with other methods to support the answers (aww..how sch-weet!). Then off I went to share the stuff with my project group. Mwahaha! I'm still stuck in microsoft excel btw; keying in numbers really hurt 0_o

My computer's memory has been pretty poor these days. I don't know if it's all because of my constant downloading or installing; one thing that's certain is that the thing really bugs me a lot. My comp's running on a Pentium 4 thing, but it's still soooo slow *yawn* Bah..sucks to be MY computer, I know :)

I regret putting my name in for some dumb farm trip. I think I was jinxed into it or something (LOL!!!) but seriously, now I really don't feel like going and my family's having an outing on that day too. So I was told to find a replacement; failure to do so would only mean that my whole family has to cancel our plan for --->ME<---. And apparently, nobody was interested to join the trip (aka replace me).

Among the things I hate about school trips are the fees we have to pay (and in my case, I have to fork out a wonderful 15 bucks), the food, and urm..yea ^^ Urggh *bangs head on keyboard*

Alrites. I'm off continuing my add math stuff. Ciaoz ^^

gloomy

2005-08-06T21:33:00.000+08:00

mood: tired
music: keane - somewhere only we know

NOw taking a short break from finishing off my physics homework. There're loads of them, ya see (THREE chapters of homework, WTF?) but I'll do them anyway :P

A career expo was held in school a few days back; but nothing much was there, so I ended up walking around the hall for 4-5 times before returning to class. Not more than 10 booths were set up and about half of them were from some unknown colleges/unis. I'm still unsure of what I'm gonna do; biotechnology sounds like fun, though. But I've got other things in my mind right now 0_o

I've also been having financial probs lately. Parents have to pay all the bills and fees and whatnot so I don't get to have enough pocket money this time (and WTH, I haven't even reloaded my phone!). The phone and electric bills has shown a remarkable increase, mum has to settle all her credit card statements, etc. So when can the rest of the money come to ME? I've been owing people about 35 bucks as of today and the worst thing is, I've gotta pay them in one shot. *pulls hair*

It sucks to be poor. Sigh.

The senior prefects will be de-installed (or retired, whatever you wish to call it as) on tuesday, meaning even ex-prefects will no longer be spared from being victims of non-stop nonsensical bugging from upcoming prefects. And boy, am I happy to finally be able to get out of all the troubles of staying back after school or wandering around school in the morning. I'll treat them all as an experience, though, considering the fact that I've never been a prefect before before this.

And oohh, someone please remind me to control myself when I see the new head girl. I'll try not to curse her or something. She speaks like a biatch and I absolutely despise her because of that :P I don't give a damn about fame or popularity she has got; she doesn't need to speak with that accent and give orders to outgoing prefects. OH YES! I almost forgot that we're gonna retire anytime soon, so we don't deserve any respect, eh? -__-

I realise that as you get closer to someone, you tend to get offended by the person too. ANd that's so sad. Because I already know how the feeling tastes like, and the idea of having your close friend being TOO rude to you is so bad. I actually tried to calm myself down the other day when it happened, but about an hour later, the friend seemed to have forgotten whatever she had just done. I hate playing with my feelings; I admit I was still pretty angry even after school. Maybe I was thought to not have heard what she said, or that maybe I had absolutely NO feelings at all. *shrugs*

I still remember whatever bad things I've done/said to my friends. I just think it's pretty hard to forget them, no matter how hard I try. And bad memories keep coming in everytime I'm reminded by a certain someone/something. Heh..maybe they're just there in my brain to fill up some vacant spaces LOL. Best friends are pretty hard to find these days, especially when you feel that you can't fully trust them and hope they'll always stick to you when you need them.

Total amount of hours spent in tuition this week: a record-breaking 13 hours. Urggh..fatigue. Y_Y

stressed out!

2005-08-02T16:25:00.000+08:00

mood: lazy
music: kelly clarkson - hear me

Okay, so maybe my last post on my parents is a bit stupid. I don't really hate my parents as much as I hate my brother. Seeing how my brother has this tendency of starting an argument with my mum on silly matters (like switching between astro channels?!) is just..gross. But other than that, I don't really care. He can be all sweet and innocent in school (he's been chosen as a prefect, like OMG?) but is definitely a sensitive and rude person at home :)

Anyways.

Found out that my teeth still don't really show much improvement since my last checkup, so, guess I'm gonna get the usual questioning from my dentist again. Sigh. But anyhows, putting braces rocks in every way:

1. the dentists at school won't force you to get some scaling/drilling/whatnot done because..there's nothing they can do without a [certified] orthodontist
2. helps you lose weight for the first few weeks when your teeth hurt like hell
3. you start to feel that you can't possibly live without porridge, or stuff like that
4. makes you feel special enough lol
5. ~~gives people the impression that you're rich~~

The first 3 really works with me, btw.

I've thought of some MORE things I can do after SPM. Anyway my mum was asking me why I cared so much on things that I can/need to get/buy/do after the major thing, because she was obviously annoyed after I showed her an Ipod postcard I got from a friend. Haha, wells, the end of the exams usually means the beginning of the fun, right? ;D

And ooh, august is gonna be a month of birthdays and ~~fun~~ boredom! Yours truly will be officially legal to drive around (and knock from one lamp post at the road side to another) in the next 20 days. I'll also be joining this club trip to some farm during the holidays..hope it's really gonna be a fun trip because the fees was really a pain in the pockets :S Besides that, I'll have a week-long holiday when I'm gonna spend on stuff for me trials. Sigh.

Aah..I somehow lost track on where I last stopped reading biology. It's dumb to switch from one book to another in less than 4 days. I've been spending so much time on other subs; I've neglected some so guess I'll start with the 'forgotten' ones now. Hehe =/ See ya around.

i want my lolly!!

2005-07-31T17:40:00.000+08:00

You Are 12 Years Old

12

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

doubts

2005-07-30T21:37:00.000+08:00

mood: nerdy
music: evanescence - bring me to life

Grr..was halfway posting the entry when it suddenly disconnected and my post was gone..GONEEEE! Bah..thank goodness for boredom; I'm retyping every single word from my lost post.

Man..I was thinking, am I really capable in doing pure science at the first place? I was really poor in science and math during my primary school days, but I only started showing improvement in lower secondary. And I had my As back then, alright. But my form 4 results were one of the worst in my class.

Maybe they shouldn't have made PMR a foolishly easy exam. Then I wouldn't have been slacking all the time last year. My results showed a drastic drop and I hardly passed add math. Then I knew: to fail is far easier than to pass. I was one of the worst students in class - academically, that is. Teachers said form 4 is like a 'honeymoon' year. Oh bullshit. Form 4 lessons are SO important, you'll regret not doing well in them in form 5.

However bad my results are, I still like science. *hugs chem book tightly* Problem is, my form 5 results aren't good enough to live up to MY expectations. What I want is simple: 7As can already make me happy. I know that's WAAAY different from what my parents want, but I'm gonna ignore this fact; good results can definitely make them feel good, but my As are not 100% for them.

And by the way, I think I'm starting erm *cough* hate my parents. Yes, yes, I know it's wrong to say this, but heyyy. It's pathetic when they don't care for other people's feelings. And that includes yours truly. They can nag, scream, yell, scold, lecture, whine, etc. But having rude remarks thrown into your face is simply not a very nice thing to do to teach kids nowadays.
I've had a couple of friends asking me why my mum is so strict to me ALL the time and expects super cool results from me. I dunno, dude. It's all about luck, I guess. OFten I wonder why my parents can't be like my friends' parents. I've met my friends' parents and they're all so so SO cool and kind and fun. They let their kids date, drive their daughter TOGETHER with her boyfriend to the mall, let their house to be turned into some chick party place, etc. I have never invited my friends to my house before, even for some meeting so we can discuss our school projects/homework/etc. Not that I don't want to, but I do have restrictions, see. My parents would've decided to eat my head off if they know I have a boyfriend at this age. I shall really keep it as a tight secret if I really have found a bf. I don't want my head to end up being a appetizer for all. :P

And oh, I've never ever faced anything lamer than anything else until..this evening. It was so lame, I couldn't help laughing my ass off. Wakakaka. Ooh, not too sure if it is, but got a bit better with bro after all the mess and all. Bro still avoiding me in every way he can, though. Heh.

Am going off right now. Ciaoz ^^

Days left to trials: 33
Days left to SPM: 104

not in the mood for titles

2005-07-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

Can't believe I've grown so much. But not in height, though; that's a problem. Apparently I could no longer fit into my long sleeves shirts that haven't been touched for almost a year now. The size of both my arms are making me sick :S

And my jeans. Aah..I remember I did fit into all of them very nicely a few months back. Note: very nicely = jeans not causing breathing difficulties and whatnot. And I thought spending 200 bucks on a pair of jeans back then wasn't such a big deal after all (yea yea, but me mum was complaining. sigh).

Now I'm basically into loose tees; baby tees are TOO much!!! Eheheh, loose tees + new jeans (with NEW size) = perfecto. :D Anyway, friends reckoned I wouldn't be able to show much of my feminity, whatever. Yes, yes, I got the idea. But feminity + sumo-ness = not my cup of tea. Hmmm..

Okay, I may have exxagerated a little, but heyyy, it's just horrible. :S

The weather today was really cool; it was FREEZING in the morning that I couldn't even get to take my usual morning nap properly before school started. Gah. I love rainy days. Mmmhmmm..

So I happened to be one of the 5 who were caught talking during monday's assembly. Never really had this kinda thing since...ages. So off we went to see the discipline teacher after looking after late girls to do their punishment and stuff. Expected something bad at first, but boohoo, turns out that we only got a warning (NOTE: a SOFT warning). Anyway apparently, someone told the discipline teacher about what we've done. I've got a suspect; am starting to really believe people who once (or twice) badmouthed her. Hehe..what a nice thing to start the day with. ^^

And oh, I didn't know that --->I<--- have 'volunteered' to participate in the upcoming national physics quiz. I mean, I seriously can't recall anything about me actually paying 10 bucks as registration fee. The quiz is in national level, so I doubt it's gonna be like any other exam you can take as a piece of cake. Gah, as far as I know, more than 30 people from my school have joined (whether voluntarily or recommended by teachers), so urm, yea. ANd so for the sake of not wasting away the already-forgotten 10 bucks I"ve paid, I've gotta go all the way to subang :P

I'm not going to be all serious and read the whole physics book (though I've already studied a few chapters); the cert of participation is already MORE than enough. Hehehh, with my physics marks that are as bad as bird poo, I won't be surprised if I won't even manage to get 40 correct answers (there're more than 70 objective questions, so WHEEEE!!!). SIGH..I'll take it as an experience anyway; won't hurt a single bit, right?

lazybums

2005-07-20T17:51:00.000+08:00

Eheh. Am finally back LOL. I didn't really have much time to go online and stuff because I was either:

1. plainly lazy
2. revising stuff
3. ...lazy?! LOL.

Anyway, I've got my 6th harry potter book on saturday, but because of numerous distractions, I ended up reading the book in 4 days. Hey, that's like..the shortest time I've ever spent reading a book that's kinda thick. *grins* I don't really like to rush when I'm reading. Yes, some people are actually speedy readers, but I prefer to just read my book slowly to absorb the contents. Hehe. The book is just wicked, man. But spoilers were already spreaded out even before I finished, so, half the fun was just not there.

And so I didn't really study for 4 days. Spent most of the time reading HP and fiddling around crappy stuff. Days to SPM have become lesser and lesser and I'm now barely 30% prepared. My bad, my bad. After all the promises I've made to myself that I would study more and waste less time.

I've realised that my lower secondary results were like..5 times better than my form 4-5 results. I've never failed any 'important' subjects before (oho, I choose to think that ART is so NOT important :D), but this time around, failing is not a difficult thing to do anymore. *sob*

BUt thank goodness there isn't much competition in my class, or I would just ~~hang myself to death~~ do something bad. I still need to do something so I can fit into the top 10. Sigh. I remember i used to get like..5 As when I was in form 2, but ended up being number 20-something - beating only about 20 people in my class. Man..

Oh, SPM officially ends on november 30. I swear I'm gonna start partying right after the last paper (biology). After all the hard work and sweat and tears and blood and everything...hahaha. SPM may look rather long, try doing the math; typical science students only have 9 days of exam. Great!

Blog entries have been boring these days. Ahaks. Can't help it; I'm feeling bored myself. Won't be meeting people much online..friends and family have advised me to raise my preparation level. Ciaoz ^^

laziness, no?

2005-07-09T14:38:00.000+08:00

So I haven't updated for a while, eh? Haha..getting pretty lazy these days, as in, lazy to go online and stuff. Hah. Probably because I'm getting fed up that bro goes online 24/7 and I don't have the slightest chance to do the same :( Bah..but it's okay though. Helps me kill the addiction so I can happily read up my stuff :)

Lemme see:
54 days to trials.
126 days to SPM.

Bliss.

Have tried to read up form 4 stuff, now that the teachers are kind of rushing to finish off the syllabus. Really wanted to bring revision books to school, but they're just too heavy (ehehe!) and 'rajin' teachers are entering class without fail. SIgh. I really really HATE physics lessons in school. They make me (and everyone else) sleepy and in the end we get complaints from the teacher. *grins* Glad that tuition saves some time, though. Teehee.

Hmm..what else? Ooh, got measles jab on wednesday. The pain was onviously there (like, duh?) and I could hardly move my left arm until a couple of hours later when it was officially okay. Was rather surprised that several people actually *gasp* cried. To quote my mum: "If they can't even take that jab, how are they going to give birth?" Muahahaha!

Speaking of giving birth, bio is getting interesting. But I expect it'll be a bit boring next week because the plants section is coming up and I hate stuff about plants. Yawn. Wished the entire bio syllabus could focus on humans and animals - saves the time and the amount of work :P

Anyway, I've completely stopped downloading mp3s, because I've just got a couple of cds that contain most of my fave songs (old or new). W00t! I've also tried the idea of listening to songs while studying..works well at the moment~

Going off now. Ciaoz ^^

grr..

2005-07-05T05:54:00.000+08:00

Realised that my old posts are damn BORING and LAME. Like omg. And so i decided to delete a few of them - one of the latest things I can do to fill my time. Maybe I didn't really read through the things I wrote months back; which is something that I don't practise anymore now :) You know, sometimes I just think blogs are really meant to be..boring. And that blogging is what lame people always do [heh, just kidding on that so don't come and hit me, alrights?]

Luckily not many people I know closely has come across this blog (or so I think?). Heh. But WTH, it's not like I really did curse anyone here, is it? I write what I feel comfy here, so yea.
I think I'm easily influenced by people nowadays. That is so not good, man. Being myself is something really really important, but as I come across more and more people from different backgrounds, I'm starting to be .. different. DIfferent in a bad, bad way :P

And I've always been stuck in confusion. Or something like that ;P I don't know who is right and who is wrong. Different people are giving out different opinions, and the chances of sticking to my own opinions are really low nowadays. Hmm..and most recently, I don't know where to head after f5. Although i've always wanted to go to college, i'm still influenced by people who are ready to go to f6. Anyway, that thing doesn't really bother me much anymore. And the latest crap I'm really thinking of right now is..my future career.

Looking at the calendar, it is obviously TOO early to decide on a career. I really think engineering is good, but there are a few things that make me think otherwise:

1. my add math is faaaaaar from good [note the word 'good']
2. i still haven't exactly mastered physics yet, though i really like the sub
3. engineering is still rather uncommon among females

Most of my friends have already decided [with full confidence] on their ambition. Its really nice to hear that some of them really want to be professionals xD Heh, will probably think about it again much later [and not TOO soon]; I've got other things to deal with and they're all driving me nuts. Gah.

My printer is such a pain in the ass, man. Thats why I HATE doing scrap books for school; my ink gets sucked out so quickly and before its done, I've gotta get a new set of ink again. Sigh. But woohoo, I've finally completed my crappy bio project! *jumps around*

Okay, so my hair is REALLY bothering me. And now I spend even more time doing my hair a little (so it wont look like there's a SUPER HUGE BLACK APPLE on my head), which is terribly sick. Gawd, its making me crazy. Wouldn't it be great if I could just shave off my hair or something? Sounds fun but...*cough*

Sometimes it sucks for being the eldest kid in the house. Parents look for you if there're any probs, even when you're not in any way involved. Anyway my ever-so-disgusting-and-gayish brother didn't wanna admit something he really did, and in the end, i got blamed by mum for no apparent reason at all. Oh thank him for being so helpful; my family can be REALLY dumb sometimes you know 0_o. My mum looks down at people who SHE doesn't like; my dad thinks highly of his son; my aunts and uncles and cousins are so..urggh!! It's hard to imagine it: those important people who first taught you about manners and stuff since day 1 can really be .. naughty. Funny, if you ask me. ~~They expect kids to be all 100% polite and everything, but they themselves can't even manage to be nice.~~ LOL.

The world is getting so not right. Nowadays I would just stay in my room and still prefer to talk to MYSELF (no, don't worry, folks, I'm okay x) ). Thank goodness for friends, by the way. Whee... ^^

too dumb to think of a title

2005-07-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

Aah..saturday!! I love saturdays - one of the best days to do nonsensical stuff around the house and er..almost everywhere. Hee.

Well, I'm glad that my brother has finally decided to get his butt out of the house to hang out with his friends (*gasps* all 9 of them) at sunway pyramid. Yeaps..from someone who loved sticking his butt onto the sofa in our living room to a..sociable person ;) Heh..enjoyed the moment when he wasn't around - total peace. Aahh..

So urm, 'bout today: went shopping with mum so she could buy a new handphone. She insisted that she didn't want a cam phone, so can say that she didn't need to spend too much. Hehe. She traded in her old (and rusty) phone for 70 bucks. Like heh, barely 100 bucks from a 2-year-old phone. So..340 bucks gone from her wallet. Nicey.

I was kinda stunned; my phone is still in the most wanted list. Like hells, woohoo! The price doesn't change much, which is great considering teh fact that the price of nokia phones drops too quickly. According to the guy there, my phone has great features and everything, plus people are now chasing after cam phones. Haha *hugs phone tightly*

Then went to this music store and walked around. Its just too bad that my mum didn't have enough cash; i would've bought backstreet boys' never gone. Hiaks! Pop music just gets better and better.

Returned home and had about 2 hours studying. Am hoping that all my effort doesn't go down the drain; it really is the first time since - FOREVER - that I actually sit down reading without falling into a deep sleep and wet my books with my saliva and stuff. Sigh.

fun fun fun

2005-07-01T17:10:00.000+08:00

Yawn. :O Had 5 hours of sleep yesterday because I just..well..just COULDN'T sleep. I was pratically staring at the ceiling in my dark bedroom for the first 15 minutes or so, then realised that it was no use; my parents were at the living room and had a rather LOUD chat. And yea, it's because of them that I couldn't manage to watch titanic too. Pfft.

So..I went online for a short while before realising that I finally yawned too much and went to sleep at midnight. Bah.

School was alright today. Like daym, we're all gonna get our measles jab on tuesday, so we kinda expect several people absent in school. Haha. The jab's seriously good, but well, I hate the pain, see? I mean, I've already got enough pain in my life, and adding more is not a good idea ;)

Aah..I suddenly have the urge to buy more CDs. It's been AGES since I last bought one and i've got more cassettes than CDs, so..yea. I never have a proper CD rack; they are just everywhere. Heh. Will also look forward to buying jay chou's albums. So yay!!

Yesterday was fun. Tuition was suddenly cancelled because there was NO electric supply at the centre. Ahaha! Absolutely love it when I have just ONE DAY free of tuition. I despise tuition, man. Sigh. No idea why everyone gets obsessed with tuiton every single day. Even kindergarten kids are getting extra tuition. Geez. No wonder they say opening a tuition centre gives you fast cash. Parents are willing to help sign their kids up to extra classes at different centres. Man..

OMG yay..it's july 1!! The beginning of all the fun! Whee...

Aarggh...where can i find FULL SONGS for my handphone? Hotlink's providing crappy songs and they cost 5 bucks each. Great 0_o

scare

2005-06-29T21:54:00.000+08:00

Grr..I can't seem to fully install adobe into my comp. It's a pirated copy, of course, and like shit, the serial number is SO incorrect. There's this file that can kinda help you to determine what serial number or something, but I was thinking, is it possible for adobe to have more than ONE serial number?

Anyway, apparently, my friend who owns the CD got to install it properly. The serial number's correct but the others whom she lent the CD to faced the same prob as me. Aah, wells. A pirated CD won't cost me a fortune or something; might as well just buy MYSELF one!! Haha..

Report card day's tomorrow. *takes deep breath* Not so sure if my mum's attending or not; *fingers crossed* hope she doesnt though. I just don't want the trouble of listening to what she would say when she comes back with my report card. Eek..her words hurt my ears. -__-

So I've been a good lately, to study chem and all. Okay, not ALL; just chem :) I know I'm darn poor at that subject so i thought i should just start with it first. Ooh, and bio's been interesting; we've been learning reproduction. So whee! I admit that it's one of my fav chapters, so sue me!! Physics is a bore. No idea how I'm gonna fare in my electrics chapter. I despise electrics :P

I've been thinking a lot of my post-spm plans and everything. Aah..I just can't wait. Anyway, I MIGHT be taking my undang test sometime in..july ;p Gah, I dunno. I thought it should be interesting to get to learn driving straight away after the last spm paper.

*silence*

Heck, maybe not. LOL.

bombs

2005-06-28T16:37:00.000+08:00

music: backstreet boys - incomplete
mood: lost (where on earth is my comprehension book??)

Aah..am feeling kinda weird right now. I have no idea where I put my book..and yea. I've never lost any of my books in like what? - 5 years? - so I'm pretty urm, pissed, urm, YEA! But sigh. Sheer luck.

And ooh, I'm addicted *sniff* to incomplete now! Like..daym. Can't stop singing it 24/7 LOL! The wonders of boybands..w00t! Haha..

Like damnit for my school decides to make the form 5's last year a horrible one. Well, boohoo for that measles immunisation thingy that's made compulsory for us upcoming school-leavers *sob*. First heard it during morning assembly, but I was, as usual, yawning and suddenly people around me were freaking out and everything. Bah. Can't recall if I've got measles before or not though. Sheesh.

I mean, REALLY!!! Urrgh..I hate hate hate hate needles (doesn't matter which one - either for sewing or immunisation purposes).

Another reason to blow up: I'm still NOT in the top 20 list in my class. Like WTF? Urrghh..this is not good. If only I could get all As for my core subs..would've been in the top 10 list. Sigh. It's definitely true that it's my fault for not studying well enough. I didn't put much effort in biology, hence the dumb drop from my previous exam.

Like OUCH! My right leg's like..kinda..stiff. Aarggh. Find it kinda hard to walk now; must be the muscles trying to be clowns or something. Life ain't good to be me.. :(

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

the piss-iful entry

2005-06-25T23:04:00.000+08:00

Like daym, I'm getting pissed every single day. That's bad, I know. Aarggh..this feeling sucks. The more I calm myself down, the more useless things go. I'm now turning into some moody person, who can barely smile nowadays. I don't know what's behind all this; I just need some air to breathe..

Sigh. The top 5 things that piss me off the most (not in particular order):-

1. laggy sites. and just this evening, mum was asking me to check NS status online for her friends' children. like geez, i can't even check my damn status myself; how should i do the same for other people? i nearly hit my dear monitor with a water bottle :P

2. dad asking me silly questions. this usually happens after school when he comes to fetch me home. sigh. just when i need some break after getting all stressed up with school stuff and everything, dad decides to ask me something that is well..silly. i appreciate that "so how much did you get for add math?" thing, but seriously NOT "you take art for SPM, don't you?". and he knows very well that there isn't a sign of a brush or art block in my room. sigh.

3. brother trying to disconnect my internet connection when i'm in the middle of something rather important *winks* i, unlike him, know where the limit is, and when i should stop my online business. if he wants to *cough* help me to save credit (i'm on dialup), he can come over to my room and tell me about it. but if he thinks he can do something funny, he should try something else before he gets the same thing from me the next time he is happily hanging around in his world of online games :D

4. people being pathetic when replying/answering to questions. okay, maybe i'm not someone big whom everyone should fully respect, etc. but heck, i ask when i don't understand, and i'm sure everyone does that too (ooh, maybe except those idiots, of course). some people think they're just too smart and simply go: "*starts completing add math question by him/herself WITHOUT any sign of teaching/guiding/helping* here..this is how you do it", then give you an insincere smile and proceed with their own work. thanks for the good help, dude!! xD

5. stomach grumble in the middle of the night. like i've said before, my whole family eats at around 6pm. and it's not comfy feeling all hungry and everything at night when your mum is already asleep and you don't have the slightest ability to cook instant/cup noodles. my digestion system just works tooo...fast :P

I just had pizza, so whee! I love pizzas to bits and well, mum only takes us to pizza hut when dad isn't around (dad's currently in..somewhere else :P). Apparently, dad doesn't like the idea of spending TOO much on erm, special food. So yea. I'm just bored of the usual rice-meat-veggies thing, ya know.

I know I don't sound too good right now. But I'm well, pissed -___- I'm gonna sleep anytime soon and let's just hope that things may go well enough tomorrow so I don't pass my piss-ness to everyone. Will promise not to post when I'm mean. Haha.

desperate

2005-06-22T20:22:00.000+08:00

Alrites.

To be marked in calendar:

JULY 1ST:- start burying nose in books.

Meh.

[edited: 23/6 - 4.35pm]

mischief

2005-06-20T21:42:00.000+08:00

music: blink 182 - i miss you
feeling: lazy (daym physics homework)

I reckon I'm gonna wear glasses in the next 3-4 years. No, make that 3-4 months :P

I spent more than 5 hours with the computer on saturday afternoon to do some math project thingy. I needed to create circles to form the union set (forget it if you don't know your math). Gah..hard work *wipes sweat* Before that I had to search for something else for the same project. OMG, I used up 3 bucks for internet!!! Ahh..nvm anyway. I know very well that I won't be hanging around with dialup for too long *winks*

Ooh, by the way. ~~Stole~~ Grabbed mum's reading glasses the other day and found out that I looked like a terrible granny in the mirror. I don't have really perfect looking eyes or anything, so yea ;P

I'm in the right mood to study history today. It's really really fun to study the chapters that havent been taught in school. Makes you think that you don't need to pay attention in class so you can happily sleep with your head on the desk :) Can say that it's simple because they practically repeat the form 3 syllabus. This is what you get when your country lacks history :P I mean, daym, I'm sick of reading the same thing over and over again V_V

My bro just let out a short, loud cry a few hours ago. He was sleeping on the sofa in the living room and I was listening to my mp3s on my comp. Seconds later, he went all "aarggh!!!" and mum felt a little annoyed. I say he's cute, see. The fact that he actually got a nightmare at 4pm. Such cuteness...but aah..he's still mean, see.

I also tried out the dumplings my granny made for us. Parents asked me to try some of them out because I've never eaten them before :P Anyway since I was feeling a little hungry that afternoon, I decided to just urm..force anything down my stomach. Nothing fancy in the dumplings, though. But there were bits of mushroom in them and ooh..i HATE mushrooms. Wanted to just give those 'rooms to dad, but plan spoiled because mum wanted me to finish everything by myself. Then tried to be a little funny by spitting the mushrooms out of my mouth and eventually threw them into the bin ;)

Yesh, I'm that bad. C'mon and throw stones at me -___-

Anyway I got back more papers today. I did ~~really really~~ quite well in other subs but in the end I get 40s in my science subs. Talk about total unfair-ness! Starting to feel a little bothered that ~~a lot of~~ a few people keep improving on their science and I simply flunk them all!!! Bleh. And thank goodness I did quite well in paper 3 of chemistry; could've failed because of the below average marks for the other papers.

My midyear results, if you're EVER interested:

BM - 66 (HUGE improvement)
english - 82 (fair and acceptable :) )
mod math - 66 (aww..shucks!)
add math - 30 (small is good -__-)
history - 70 (total phew-ness)
moral - 65 (total dumbness)
biology - 46 (confidence should always be kept low)
chemistry - 41 (sigh..)
physics - 45 (urm..mind if you pass me that tissue box so i can just..sob?)
est - 93 (unexpected, but whee..*jumps on sofa*)
PE - 87 (not counted though, heh!)
Total As = 3 (don't look..tears are flowing!!)

Conclusion: Yeaps, it's the science subs that make eyes sore. And I'm officially weak in math. Bah. WTH, it's only midyear. Should try once more in trials, and this time, with my confidence level going slightly DOWN a little. Haha. Anyway, I haven't told my mum bout me bad results; she might screw and scream at me nonstop, though :S

Will be downloading about 5 more songs. Reckon that will take about an hour or so. Ciao. And oh, anyone knows how to get a gmail account? Yahoo is boring lol.

of homework and..other probs

2005-06-18T16:32:00.000+08:00

*gasps*

Like shit. Physics homework kills! The last homework was given before the exams but I haven't done a single thing. And teacher wants the whole class to hand in our work next week. I realised that I only handed in my add math exercise twice. Like..woah?! Nvm..add math homework is meant to be undone ;)

Mum still doesn't believe that the latest NS shit is ready. She said she never read about anything about it in her chinese newspapers. Gahhh..she thought I was afraid to check my status because I didn't do anything since yesterday. Honestly. I'm not afraid of NS. I just hate the program. And I haven't done anything because..there's absolutely nothing I can do. The website is so fucking laggy, sms info is said to be outdated/false, hotlines busy/not available. WTF?

Besides, no one in my class seems to look really worried. We have got other things to worry about. NS can take the back seat :P

LOL.

Go watch Batman Begins. It's a good movie, according to everyone. Yes, go watch it while yours truly simply can't *sobs* The movie is said to be even better than the previous ones, so yea. I really have difficulties watching movies nowadays. It's either: 1) I can't afford to watch one 2) no one wants to come with me 3) parents don't allow me to go out because I need to study

Hmmph!!

in need of hideout now

2005-06-16T22:46:00.000+08:00

OMGOMGOMGWTFWTF!!

The latest national service trainee list is out. And it's so freaking early now. *points at calendar* I just couldn't believe it at first. Because I checked the website for like..a hundred times but there wasn't a list for the upcoming batch. *shrugs* WTF. Look how hi tech those people are. I just can't call, man. The lines are stuck and busy and...*sigh*

And WTF again. I even sms-ed my friends, telling them NOT to believe the crappy rumours. I'm dead. Dead of extreme embarassment :P I'm gonna be in school tomorrow to have my friends criticizing me :S

Anyhows. I'm now basically lost. Don't exactly know what to do now. Checking the website is obviously sick cuz the traffic is somehow stuck, and the hotlines don't seem to help much either. *sigh* So I shall wait till a few days later. I know I CAN wait for it. No prob, dude! ;)

But I just sent an sms to the department. That was an hour ago and I still haven't got a single reply. Shit.

Got back more exam papers. Fair marks for english; couldn't believe I did quite well for literature. I practically wrote shits there. Bio results can go deep down the drain. LIke OMG? I got 50s in the first test and I know I'm gonna flunk it this time. Haih.

How is it possible to have all my science subs results falling and my core subs results getting better? It sucks and I might as well just go to arts instead :P

Am outta here; in need of fresh air to..chill -__-

monkey business

2005-06-15T21:36:00.000+08:00

I think I'll soon return to my sleeping ways in class again. BM, moral and math make me yawn. And I'm sick of it :P And bah. Lately I've been supplying free tissues to people who need them. Note: to supply = to provide. I reckon I could make some extra bucks with this tissue business ;)

Am extremely pleased that I'm one of the 3 peeps who score the highest marks in EST. Hehe.

Imaginary dude: yea, yea, DUDE, it's only EST - the easiest subject in school. you only jump around in joy if you score the highest in say, chemistry *looking bored*
Me: HELLO? it ain't easy to get 90s in f5, okay?
Imaginary dude: whatever. i'm not taking back whatever i just said *rolls eyes*
Me: BOO!

Hehe. Just entertaining~

My physics suck even more. I still get the same marks despite the increased amount of effort I put in for midyear. OMGOMG. All because of my dumb essays and the objective paper. Daym! History was all right. I mean, phew?! I thought I wasn't gonna get an A because I really did screw up my essays. Thank goodness the structure questions saved me. 35/40 - what a record breaking thing for me! And as expected, I failed my add math again - for the blardy 4th time! Enough said -___-

Did something terribly wrong today. Should really do something to control my temper or anything. Sometimes I suck big time. But aah..nvm that. At least I now know what mistake I've just done to other people. And will always try to avoid doing the same thing again..*sniff* yes, it's just me being too emotional. But WTH~

misshaped brain

2005-06-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

Aah..the first day of school of the 2nd semester was great <3 Whee..!!

Well, returning to school can only mean that we're gonna get our blardy results. Some of us freak out so easily when a teacher steps into class with a stack of papers and all. The teacher calls us one by one; some dare to look at the marks the second they get their hands on their paper, some just kinda ignore it for a few minutes until the teacher finally tells the class to check answers. I happen to be one of the latter :)

I know I could do even better. I know I could get A1 for mod math. I know I could snatch more marks for moral. I know I could do my graphs right for physics. I know...*sigh* bah.

And now I keep getting B3s. WTF?! Well, at least I showed improvement. But while most of my classmates keep getting those As, I think I'm gonna get left out again and eventually be the 20-something-th 'smartest' person in my class again. And mind you that there are ONLY 36 peeps in my class.

I'll try to post my results here soon, if I remember that is.

Core subjects always rock. The science subs just..urggh!

My mum refuses to let me take 30-minutue nap. Like grr?! Even the best robot in the world needs rest? Note: rest does not mean sleep and vice versa :)

Will write soon when my hand gets better; it's sorta numb :S Ciaoz ^^

eeurggh

2005-06-12T22:08:00.000+08:00

Waaa...school officially reopens tomorrow. While I'm now ~~rushing~~ finishing my dumb moral project, I'm thinking of how fun it's gonna be to get my even dumber results :P Such bliss!

Sigh. Here's another questionnaire I found:

the last movie(s) you watched?
madagascar -___-

why did you choose that particular movie?
i dunno. i kinda stumbled upon the movie's pirated vcd, so i just watched it alone, without anybody noticing

last time you cried over a movie?
*thinks hard* i. can't. remember!!!

the worst movie(s) you've ever watched?
let's see. batman returns (how BORING), star trek (how LAME)

the best movie(s) you've ever watched?
lord of the rings, spider-man, the sound of music, the italian job, lots more

the kind of movie you love the most?
probably comedies..or things like that :P

the kind of movie you loathe the most?
action or that rambo-type of movie *yawn*

do you keep all your movie tix?
nope. unless i'm given something for my collection, i wouldn't have a prob with keeping 'trash'

the things you just HAVE to bring to the cinema?
my movie tix, some friends, popcorn, coke/pepsi, last but not least, my eyes @_@

the worst thing you've done when in the cinema?
not actually the worst, but i was sitting at somebody else's seat because i had the wrong ticket (thanks to the ticket idiot). i stood up and realised everyone staring at my bro and i as though we just sneaked into the cinema like some pair of thieves :D

your favorite actor(s)?
orlando bloom, chad michael murray, daniel wu

movie(s) you're planning to watch next?
batman begins (LOL), mr. and mrs. smith (wheeee!)

thoughts

2005-06-11T17:57:00.000+08:00

Meh. I think too much nowadays. Someone told me that the more you think, the brainier you are. It's like telling your brain to work a little, so as to not let it rot just like that. But I know it really doesn't make any difference to me. I think because that's what I can bring myself to do when I'm utterly bored. I may not be as brainy as some people out there, so yea.

I've thought of a lot of crappy things. Things that actually made me lose sleep. Seriously.

Do I have a religion? I get asked about it everytime I meet new friends. I don't pray. Weird. God exists, yes, but I am confused. My whole family doesn't pray. But my father is somehow..superstitious. 0_o

Schoolday is approaching. I didn't do as I planned earlier before the hols. I didn't study much, and all my add math formulas just disappear to nowhere after the exams. I spend most of the time online and doing other crappy things. The only book I was willing to read is the dictionary. Man, I just hope I don't fail more than 2 subs. But it's likely that I'm gonna flunk add math again. So there. *pulls hair*

And oh shucks, I've gotta cut my nails that have been longer than ever. Heh.

You Have OK Karma

You try to be a good person... well, sometimes you try!

While you are caring deep down, you don't always show it.

You're very focused on yourself, and others come second (if not third).

Which is fine, but don't expect others to focus on you.

How's Your Karma?

Can't wait to see everyone in school. ^^

out of order

2005-06-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

Boys. I hate their peeing habits.

I was ordered by mum to wash the toilet the other day. Sounded like fun at first, but I really didn't expect to have urine stains all over the toiletbowl and floor around it welcoming me. It stinked. Eww.

Told my mum about it. She just gave a two-second look at the condition and continued with her work. I suspected something; she must have asked my bro (couldn't be my dad, right? RIGHT) to give me more work to do. Talk about the first time washing the toilet >.<

If he isn't going to be careful next time, I'm just gonna ask him to lick the stains.

I am. That. Evil.

*puts on Darth Vader mask and laugh like a maniac*

challenge

2005-06-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

I am going to set a new challenge for myself.

To those who have no idea: challenge = demanding or difficult task.

I have problems with erm..food. Am I already obese? Nah..I wish.

I can no longer stand my stomach making so much noise in the middle of the night. And fuck it for my kitchen does not look like one anymore. No more instant noodles. No bread. No cakes. Nothing.

So I shall eat like someone who has been stuck in the desert without food for a month. And it's a big boohoo that my family eats at 6pm. Gawd, within hours I'm going to feel hungry again and nobody is going to buy me food. *keeps whining like baby*

d.u.m.b.

2005-06-07T22:50:00.000+08:00

Hmm..I didn't know Father's Day falls on June 19th this year. Well, we never really celebrate it; no kisses, no hugs, no flowers, no chocs, no fireworks, no nothing :P

I have lesser meals during the holidays. That explains why I'm still feeling hungry as I type this. Not that I'm trying to put off some weight but, the fridge is always empty and I just can't get my ass off home to eat out. Lack of exercise and 10 hours of sleep..will that make any difference to myself? Haih.

So I've finished reading some of the books that I've left in the shelf for ages. Not revision books, sillies, but fiction. And so I've failed to do as I planned earlier before the holidays. *feels extremely guilty* Besides that, I also have my dictionary with me. Reminds me of the fecking lame essay I wrote in the midyear exams. Bah. Maybe the first thing I should do after getting my english marks back will be erm..to throw my essay into the sea, and hopefully can feed some fishes :D

And finally I've watched Madagascar, and NOT Star Wars 3. It's been ages since I last watched ~~cartoons~~ animation stuff so yea ;) It's okay; just like what I've expected in an animation film. I've always thought that films about animals and all are created to send moral value-related messages to ~~children~~ peeps. And now I'm planning to watch Star Wars 3, hopefully before school reopens. I'm gonna get my trashy results back and mum will then no longer allow me to get some more entertainment. Never mind the fact that I'm NEVER a fan of Star Wars, or that I have not watched the 2 previous episodes; it's the special effects and some actors that are quite attracting :)

I'm also starting a new blog. I've got some extremely private matters that are obviously erm..private. Hehe. Since I don't really have the guts to put names in this blog, I shall do it in my private blog. *evil laugh* So my other blogs, including my livejournal, will be left out :P Friendster blog is to be updated for fun -__-

freakin out

2005-06-04T16:16:00.000+08:00

Holidays are never fun. For me at least :P Walked around 1 Utama today, but never bought anything there. Sorely packed. Gah.

Anyway, got some NS scare last night. Kept checking NS site but traffic happened to be erm, stuck. Boohoo...I don't think the names of 2006 batch will be announced until..a couple of months later?

Am outta here. Ciaoz ^^

random thought

2005-05-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

Just yet another random thought:

Why does my brother have to walk around with his nose up high? Neck problems? New style when walking?

I smell lan-c-ness in my house. Will go check it out later *winks*

irritated

2005-05-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

About an hour or so ago, my mum made some comments on my attitude towards my father. It's like, when my dad talks, I reply in a moody kinda way. Hmm..

Why?

First of all, my dad and I speak less than 50 words a week. We don't have ~~anything~~ much in common, thus less interesting topics to talk about. I'm not used to it. I spend most of my time with my mum (and not forgetting my retarded brother) and my schoolmates.

Sometimes I just wonder how lucky some people are to have a great dad. I haven't talked much to my dad since I entered secondary school. But I've been nasty a few times to tease him on his bad habits. And it's his bad habits that actually want me to hate him.

This holiday is gonna be totally different. Heh. Will really need to keep studying, no matter how 'lame' it's gonna be. I don't get it; some people just lurve to say that studying is lame. Tell you what. It's even lamer to fail 4 subjects. It's lame to get people staring at you non-stop when they know your dumb results. Studying can be uncool, yes, but it shouldn't be that lame unless you think it's nice to get 4-5 9Gs. Grr. End of story.

mind blowin'

2005-05-26T16:48:00.000+08:00

Now I'm back from one of the dumbest exams I've ever faced. But what the heck, this is yayness, see? :D

Boohoo. My exams suck. Like a million times suckier than other exams. Here's why ALL of the subs can qualify for the Best Ass Sucker(s) Award:

BM - brain was completely blank when faced with essays. My essays are probably the shortest and crappiest of all.
english - my continuous essay can make peeps cry -- from excessive laughter. :O
mod math - bah..changed the graph at the last minute, only to find out that my initial graph is right. *slaps self* matrix made me feel..stupid. :(
add math - man..need I say more??
history - killed me with its madness. gah.
moral - as usual, memory problems caused me to forget a couple of 'values' and their meanings. *shrugs*
biology - I don't usually hate biology, but this paper is just..just so violent!!
chemistry - *tells self repeatedly: CERAMIC CAN CRACK INTO PIECES, JUST LIKE GLASS*
physics - my whole experiment thing can go right into the dustbin. :P And I swear I'll never get involved in anything electronic in the future!!!
est - =DISQUALIFIED=

Sigh. There's trials to be dealt with next; another reason to blow off my head. -___-

Honestly I hate facing failures. Somehow I can just give up on something and let it be. I got some mild headache while doing add math but before further thinking, I already gave up on the paper. Since then, all the questions in the paper seemed hard. I didn't have the mood to continue, as I kept rubbing my temple to ease the pain a little. 15 minutes before the time was up, I fell asleep. I didn't bother looking through some of my unanswered questions. Numbers are like sharp thorns to me. But nooo, their ability to kill seems better than cactus thorns' :D

Anyway.

I think I'm really obese. I should check out my BMI soon, and will probably get a heart attack when I see the result. *knocks head on wall* Now I can barely fit into my levi's jeans. OMG how stupid can my eating habits go. I can't imagine myself looking like some oversized water balloon or anything. Blek.

Okay, I'm raising the er..issue again and now I'm stuck between form six and er..college. Dad told me college graduates don't really have a bright future (???); I kinda answered a little and the debate just went on. But anyway, form six doesn't seem so bad after all. Minus the ugly uniform and the need to wake up at 5 again, I think it's great. Aarggh!! Aah..whatever. I'll try not to think of this until say, October? 0.o

So at the mean time, I'm trying to enjoy school as much as I can. Because after December, everyone's gonna go their own ways and may never meet again..4 years ago, I stepped into secondary school, still trying to fit into a new environment with new friends. But the years just went by and here I am, almost refusing to accept the fact that it's my turn to sit for SPM.

Boy, am I getting old or what?? Now where's my walking stick..I remember I just put it somewhere in here.. Sigh.

Not only that. I'm getting dumb too. A few nights ago, I put my phone on my bed, and forgot to put it back on the table before I slept. Next morning I found my phone on the floor and then mum was quick enough to give me yet another lecture about my dumbness. The lecture started at about 5am right until I returned home from school at 2pm. All for dropping a phone, not twice or more, but a fucking ONCE. T__T

Aaahh..it sucks to actually beg my mum to pose with me for the dumb moral project. Bah..I gotta pretend to help her do housework. OMG it's so overly dumb, I'm now laughing as I'm thinking of this. ROFL.

Ciaoz, before my eyes turn nasty again @_@

lalala..

2005-05-22T14:49:00.000+08:00

It's been weeks, I know. Weeks of exams. But just pretend that you didn't see me, alright? *winks* Don't feel like writing about exams anymore; I'm about to fail chemistry and add math again. Some interesting things that happened while I was offline:

May 10.
My nightmare begins.

May 14.
Mum gets a little frustrated over a blardy phone call to telekom to install streamyx. She gets into trouble trying to talk to the operators cause the number is a toll free number, or something. She bangs the phone later on. Screams around (I so bet that the neighbours could hear her) and bangs more books and magazines on the table.

Her final conclusion: stick to dial up or just get on with life without internet.

Okay, so is it my turn now to throw tantrums?

Gah. I still have 5 subjects to deal with. Thanks to add math, I kinda feel blah about exams already :P

May 20.
School's teacher's day celebration. Turns out that the only peeps from my class who appear are prefects and 2 students. Overall, the event is fun. Some say it's better than the previous ones, but at least I manage to turn up during teacher's day for the first time. Hells yea. First time. Gets a bit crappy singing on stage..bah. And I get an extremely clear view of how [all] the juniors actually behave. Hohoho.

May 21.
Am starting to really HATE HATE HATE HATE the piano. Am starting to really ADORE ADORE ADORE ADORE the guitar.

Blah-ness. Less than 6 months till SPM. I am so going to bang my head onto the wall. For all the mess I've caused during the exams. For that stupid english essay I wrote. For the stupid graphs I drew. For the brain I have that caused me to forget all the history facts.

Aah..will write more shortly. Exams..begone!!

brb

2005-04-30T22:11:00.000+08:00

blog on hiatus. will be back when mid-term exam ends on 27th may 2005.

ps: but will probably return with a quick update or two. until then, see ya!

it's survey time 2

2005-04-28T22:10:00.000+08:00

Okay. After just 2 hours with my chemistry book by my side, I now realise that:

--chemistry actually rawks--.

Bah. Never mind the fact that I've failed the paper twice. Loving the subject and getting good marks are two very different things. Some people score A for it but they never really like the subject.

*taps finger on keyboard*

Things are going pretty boring these days. Everything's so..blah. Here's another survey:

Name: wen-che.

Nicknames: quite a few. ask my classmates.

Age: 16 going on 17

Date of Birth: 22nd august *winks*

Sex: sometimes...LOL. female.

Height: 5'3"

Eye color: *checks mirror* dark brown?

Hair color: black.

Where were you born?
in a hospital?

Where do you live?
puchong.

Right handed or lefty righties rule.

White or chocolate milk chocolate. like durh.

Coke or Pepsi: pepsi.

Root beer or Dr Pepper: root beer.

Sunshine or Rain: depends on my moods..

Vanilla or Chocolate: C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E

Skiing or Boarding: urm..boarding should be fun.

Day or Night: night.

Summer or Winter: winter.

Spring or Fall: fly me to switzerland and i'll tell ya.

Sunset or Sunrise: doesn't make a difference to me *shrugs*

Silver or Gold: silver. gold makes you blind.

How often are you happy?
almost everyday.

What makes you happy?
happy things.

What do you do when you're happy?
jump off a building and tell everyone to join in the fun.

How optimistic are you?
no idea.

Do overly happy people make you mad?
sometimes.

What is your happiest memory?
urm. playing around like some lil kid with my friends.

Ever been so happy you cried?
hmm...*thinks hard* does laughing count?

Do you smile a lot?
i smile everyday :D

Who makes you the happiest?
anyone.

How often are you angry?
urm..only when i get pissed off.

What makes you angry?
something that completely pisses me off?!?!

What do you do when you're angry?
throw everyone down a building. hehe.

Describe your temper in detail.
eheh. i'm really bad tempered, honestly. it's my temper that actually caused problems between me and my friends. you get the idea. i can scream (or rather, bark) as loud as i can to just anyone. so don't mess with me *winks*

What's the worst thing you've done when you were angry?
hmm..i just screamed at my friend. then i just sort of banged my table really hard, ~~pushed~~ kicked every object that blocked my way when i walked, got a little nasty with a teacher...aaggh..too scary!! :S

On a scale of 1-10, how hot is your temper and why?
urm..i would say..7?

Can you control yourself or do you explode?
i can only manage to control myself when i'm happy again.

Who makes you the angriest?
my brother.

Favorite food: noodles, mcdonald's, pizza, etc.

Favorite color: purple, blue, pink, silver, brown.

Favorite ice cream flavor: chocolate.

Favorite pet: i don't own a pet. puppies rule.

Favorite TV show: CSI. oohhlala.

Favorite book: no idea.

Favorite movie: comedies, anything with cute guys? LOL.

What do you do when you're bored?
online or sleep.

Do you have flat feet or arches?
huh??!!

Do you have a bf/gf?
*sigh* why do i find this question in every survey???

What are you usual grades in school?
fucking low.

What was the last compliment you received?
can't remember. haha.

Do you look more like your mother or father?
my father -____- should be those eyes and my face. aarggh.

What kind of music do you like?
i ain't choosy. i listen to whatever that's good.

Do you like to party?
yea, i guess :P

this is pretty lame, no?

2005-04-25T21:56:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna keep myself busy this week and the whole of May. How busy, eh? Hmm..just gotta bury myself with thick and rusty revision books. It's crappy to have the clock ticking so quickly and make 2 weeks sound like 2 days. *sobs uncontrollably*

*clears bucket of tears* [woah??!!]

No idea why, but I just feel kinda guilty. Guilty of not doing well in exams..heh. Haha..LAMER!!

I can't keep myself from the internet. W-H-Y??? I used to have this paper stuck on the comp monitor that said something like 'do not touch. beware of something fatal happening soon'. Uh huh..something fatal. Like some lightning is gonna strike THROUGH my walls and come and attack me. That would be very interesting, no? :)

Mind full of history facts now. *yawn*

Should see ya guys around..soon. Ciaoz ^^

...

2005-04-21T21:45:00.000+08:00

This is weird as hell.

I looked back at my old photos the other day and I noticed that I don't change much. Same face, same look, same style. The only obvious changes are probably the height and the shitty hair look. Bumped into some old primary schoolmates in friendster, who are now in different schools; and shit they look different and urm, older.

I think people can still remember me as that low profile crappy and small anti-social person LOL. Hmm..although some people might choose NOT to remember me :(

I don't have much good memories during primary school. A lot of bad things happened. I did get the usual kiddy 'I don't friend you' shit numerous times. I was an anti-social; always wandering around school A-L-O-N-E. I seldom smiled, maybe that's why people kept avoiding me LOL. People hated and ignored me when I've done stupid and baseless mistakes. And when I get 'dumped' by this certain group of 'friends', I went on and tried to mix with another low profile dudes. All this made me realise that I can develop some special relationship with..books. I also started to write all my shitty feelings on my diary. I felt embarassed to share anything to my new close friends, who were extremely kind enough to approach me when everyone else were still backstabbing me. Sigh. I didn't want to blame anyone for this monkey business. It's too silly to blame someone when you're the one who made the mistakes. All this while I kept silent about it.

*silence*

I'm now willing to tell about my bad primary school days to everyone, because I'm ready to change. -__-

Bah. May's about to come really soon 0_o. It's gonna be a month of books, exams, stress, books, holidays and yea, more books.

Everyday when dad takes us on a ride in his car, I see small white Kancils with the driving school's name on them. There was this woman who drove extremely slow in front of us (and the other cars), but we didn't find it too surprising at all since a driving instructor was just sitting next to her in the car. I just thought I wouldn't be that anxious LOL. I mean, when we overtook the car, we saw that the woman's head was just extremely close to the steering wheel. Driving should be fun. I just hope my dad won't get me the same, cheap old Kancil. ;)

jumps around

2005-04-18T21:57:00.000+08:00

Nothing much to write about but waaa..

My limewire's finally working! Yayness.

And hohoho, I'm now addicted to mp3s!!! I can't seem to stop dowloading songs (even though a song can take me about 30 minutes). More yayness.

I don't know what I should expect when I get broadband. You'll see ;)

ranting time

2005-04-15T22:34:00.000+08:00

*yawn*

It's sports day next week; I doubt that I'll be there. I was last seen during sports day about 2 years ago and I remember that I had sunburn right after I came back from school. The students were all sitting under the hot scorching sun at the middle of the field, for more than 30 minutes, listening to more crap and more prize giving sessions which I obviously didn't really bother about anyway. Yes, I know 2005 is my final year and I should attend ALL major school events but heck. Bah.

I hope my sports house doesn't stand at the last position again. The Reds have since become some underdogs and then nobody ever expect us to win any golds. So yea. Like how pathetic some house leaders can be; cursing and hoping that other houses will eventually get waaaaaaaay down (*ahem* hoping that your house wins is good, of course). It's not because I'm not directly involved in this thingy, but COME ON!!! People don't have to go "The school should test all runners for any drugs!"

And more and more people that I know (personally or online) are now dating!! OMG. Hearing them talking about their love lives and their first dates makes me feel..terribly lonely :(

Friend: He still bought me movies DVDs although we've watched it twice. He knew that I really like the movies really much, but couldn't afford to spend another $20 on tix so he purposely went to the VCD stall by the road side.

Me: YOU'VE WATCHED THE MOVIE TWICE AND YOU STILL WANT TO WATCH IT A HUNDRED TIMES?!

Friend: Heehe...its different when you have that someone with you at the cinemas that you will always remember the movies you all watched together..

Me: *sarcastic smile*

Blek. Being single is good, but dating should be a good experience LOL!!!

I hate idiots who can't control their mouths. They just talk and talk without thinking. The effects and the consequences are never in their minds. I hate myself; I'm such an idiot :P Urrggh..maybe I'm gonna speak a little slower than usual; my brain needs some time to process if my upcoming message is right or wrong.

Bah..school's making me yawning non-stop. I'm always the first person to reach class and can't help but just have my head on the table and take a short nap. Eekk! Sleeping in class is fun. I love physics, for giving me extra sleeping time. I like math/add math, for some few minutes of sleep when teacher starts her story telling to the front row people. -___-

So about today. Hmm..I had my taekwondo grading test today and as usual, I sucked ass. In front of anxious juniors. Just when I was facing them, I have forgotten the basics and stopped halfway and just covered my face with both my hands. And I know EVERYONE was looking at me. Like how stupid I can be. And the trainer was obviously giving me that strange stare and so did everyone else, of course.

While waiting for 2pm to arrive (and boy, was the time slow!), I watched the remaining peeps do their stuff. Then something caught my eyes. Imagine this: a 16-year-old matured moron versus a timid and innocent-looking form 2 student. They were doing this kickboxing-lookalike stunt and the moron was all serious (and violent) and went on kicking her opponent non-stop, without giving her a chance at all. The small girl was still looking for chances to kick the moron at least ONCE, but nope. She ain't lucky. Seriously, you don't have to be too selfish and go on kicking somebody as though that she is your favourite punchbag. Besides, it's just some lousy grading test. Over-confident people are just..too much :P

W00t! *sneezes*

get a life, ppl!

2005-04-11T21:01:00.000+08:00

Mwahaha! So streamyx finally had a line here in my area. I need a trampoline; I feel like jumping up to the sky and make heads go up and down. Wheeee!

*ahem* shouldn't be too excited about this. I don't wanna let my mum see me grinning all the time and cause unwanted problems later on ;)

The news came at the right moment when I really need broadband to save me the trouble of waiting for ages while I'm downloading something. Aarggh *prays that mum would call technician for installation*

* * *

I still don't understand why some people are so obsessed with erm..british/american accents. I'm so sick of all those "..you know"s in between sentences. Like: "You know, I have to feed my pet dog, with you know, dog food. If I don't, you know, feed it, it will somehow, you know, DIE!! So, you know, it's one of the most important things that I do, you know, every day."

Most of us are already very used to all those beautiful 'lar's and whatnots. But a few are still speaking in some super fake accent that will eventually make the whole Britain cry (from excessive laughter). I'm not saying that manglish is good, but just try not to sound too much like a british/american wannabe. Adding different styles into the conversation doesn't make the moon to appear during the day.

And aged (and I mean VERY OLD) [Asian] women with BLONDE hair makes me cry too. Ooh, same goes to those with bright colours too! They aren't colour blind, are they? And women who have tummies bigger than car tyres who enjoy wearing super tight tops are about to cause snow to fall in Malaysia (and let them be covered with snow!!).

LOL. Sorry but I just feel like writing about all sorts of nonsense the people here can make up. Sigh. And oh, I need a new layout. Blek!

the cutest thang

2005-04-09T21:33:00.000+08:00

Hmm.

I don't get it. Even ants are in love with my computer :) This just shows that my computer is like the only freaking cute object in my whole room. Woah!! Ants are now busy hiding away from me -- to avoid getting themselves squished into pancakes -- and I just found them all gathering under my speaker. This is just so kewl. My computer is made of candy!!!

Went to school today to help out at the prize-giving ceremony. A lot of people turned up and the hall was damn packed. Too bad they didn't provide free seating for outsiders like me, so I didn't get to catch the event myself. Gawd, will I be able to return to my school next year for the ceremony (for the second time)?! I mean, my school's giving out prizes for peeps who get at least 7As, but heck, do I have the chance??

It's sick to learn that NOBODY in my class is getting any prize from last year's exams. It's like..not even the smartest chiq in my class managed to accumulate the highest total marks for a particular subject. OMG. *Knock knock*. Is this science 2?? *scratches head*

Bah. Another month left till my mid-year exam begins. I. Need. Those. As. *blank stare*

"It sucks when people are being ignorant towards you. When they are standing between a stranger and a close friend, they would just rather talk to that stranger than to their close friend who is thought to be invisible to them. Arguments among close buddies do happen; no doubt about that. But it is sickening when the fight results to friends ignoring each other. Like I'm ready to talk things out but then a friend doesn't seem to care much. [shrugs] I was only defending myself from my friend's kiasu-ness..Then suddenly the rest came up and pointed their filthy fingers at me and made stupid comments that don't exactly reflect myself. I sent a short message to my friend, but got no replies and I just waited right there, sipping my cup of coffee, until it finally logged off.

I am quite forgiving. But forgiving a person has its own boundaries and you cannot go beyond that. "

From a blog. Hmm..the blogger is so right xD

And oh, my school's canteen food officially sucks. I shall not spend Rm1.50 again on a plate of trashy noodles. Gah!!

bah..

2005-04-02T22:28:00.000+08:00

Yo dude..whoever you are. Haha!

Hmm..I think I'm getting addicted to blogging. Well I'm blaming the lack of other creative things I can do. Not drawing or sketching or whatever, though. Colour pencils make me melt -- for the bad reason ;)

I've decided not to follow dad to our hometown for All Souls Day. It's my first time, but then mum and bro are not going. And I only found out that dad isn't here when I came back from tuition. Ooh, mum said he didn't ask if I was going though. I heard dad was trying to err..persuade bro to follow him since it's like..a must to have the sons or just male relatives to visit or clean up the graves. The women don't usually follow LOL. They just help to buy the paper stuff though :P

Okie, so it was April Fool's Day yesterday. Not surprisingly, everyone was rather quiet. Maybe there were people who played tricks to others -- lame or plain annoying -- but nobody came up to me and secretly put a fake cockroach in my drinks while I wasn't looking! Bah. April Fool's Day is just dull, ya know? DULL.

Your Prank Is Spitting In Your Friends Drink

What April Fool's Prank Should You Play?

We're gonna dissect a frog. So wheeee?! We're supposed to be doing that in January or something since it's a chapter one activity?! And I'm sure bio lessons featuring frogs will be interesting ;) Alright, it's yet to be confirmed. I mean, who's gonna get a total of 7 medium-sized frogs for the whole class? Who's gonna bring a whole box of frogs jumping here and there and have the whole school staring at you while you walk to class? Hmm..just random thoughts, folks. LOL.

the sad teen. Everything in life is fuckin'
miserable. You constantly look over your
shoulder and wonder who is judging you...even
when you are alone. So naturally, you have
become a little paranoid and pessamistic. Your
personality can be one demensional but
confusing. You are constantly bored with life
and wish that something could spice it up. You
have a unique view on life and have identified
the problems with school society (Ex...what
makes popular people, how the student mind
works...) You would rather be alone because you
hate being hurt. You tend to think that no one
understands you, not even your parents /
guardians / friends. But that is just the
opposite! The people who love you want to
help, but they don't know how because they have
a feeling that they will say something wrong
and turn you away. You have to let them know
that you are willing to hear what they have to
say...and it might do some good to listen to
them.

Some fields you might consider going
in when you are older...Judge, author,
songwriter, producer, therapist, psychologist,
philosopher, or forensic scientist. You need a
job where you can express yourself and your
views on life. Or you need a field where you
can judge others and predict what is going on
in others life. Either way... you have the
personality to get you a good job that will
support you throughout life.

What type of teenager are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*big yawn* Aah..I'd better go sleep now. Ciao ^^

straight As-vending machine

2005-04-01T22:14:00.000+08:00

I must admit that since form 4, my stupid exam results have proven that I am not suitable to be in the second best class (okay, not really since the teacher insisted that the first and second class are of the "same standard" -- harhar). I only passed my add math once (I shall not forget the marks -- 40%), never got above 50% for biology until recently, and completely suck at chemistry.

I dare not tell my parents that there are only a mere 36 people in my class. WTH?? Some people are still requesting to come to my school but they never get into my class? 0_o. 36 peeps. Yea. So this means even if I'm number 15-20, mum still thinks it's not enough.

I am officially afraid of butterflies. Small or big. Black or white. Flying or non-flying. Male or female. Normal or mentally disabled. Ugly or sexy. Aarggh!

Attended taekwondo today looking like a complete noob. First of all, I forgot all the basics and I know that the white belts are possibly better than me. Then when we were all practising, I stopped halway and just stood there looking foolish. Sigh. I'm starting to lose interest in my cocurricular activities :P

Aahh...*hugs pillow tight*

plain stupidity

2005-03-31T15:53:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! Why do I look so shitty in all my photos?!! Told ya I can't smile properly :}

Anyways, I've only managed to get 3 As for this monthly test. I didn't manage to score in ANY of the science subjects (okay, except EST) and mum kept on lecturing me after learning that I failed chemistry and add math. I'm thinking of listening to my walkman the next time she lectures/nags me again. Hehe. And I can't stand dad asking me about my results 24/7. I always choose to tell my trashy results to mum first, and let mum do the talking to dad. Because dad only knows how to shout with his eyes popped out. So I shall just pretend to sleep when he sees my report card. He won't be too cruel to wake me up, will he? *winks*

Aah..I feel so lucky to be in my current class now :) I don't get it why I was so stupid early last year to beg my form teacher to let me switch to science 1. Maybe because almost all the peeps there are urm.."popular", so as a normal human being, I really felt like being part of the popular family tree :P

Plus, most of my primary schoolmates are there and I don't feel like meeting them (gah..I don't think they wanna see me too) so yea. We don't talk (or even smile -- sad case) to each other that often and being 'alone' in class is not a good idea. As if that's not enough, you seriously don't want to struggle too much to be at the top.

Science 2 -- I lurve you!!! *grins*

Hey I have no idea why I sound so stupid-ish today. Aahh..my moods.

week's highlights

2005-03-26T12:35:00.000+08:00

Aah..am now in the mood to write long, so here goes:

Quite a number of interesting things happened this week. Like, I got back some really fantastic results that would make my mum to explode. Haha. Urm, I know that I could've done better for add math. But maybe I was about to get Alzheimer's or something, so I had completely forgotten more than half of all the formulas. And I failed. Once again. And still couldn't manage to get A for mod math. I actually used to think that it is easier to get A for mod math than add math. I need about 15 more marks to get A. Gah.

I'm starting to HATE physics exams. But who doesn't, right? Physics is like..one of the nicest science subjects and I almost failed..and english almost made me cry. No idea why I got so low marks, but I thought it should be the literature part that kinda made my paper looked kinda dry and all. Well, at least it's A1 :)

So am currently waiting for those past year questions books. Mum's been bugging me and said I should get one of those (whoops, not one actually!), but I should really take (or just drag) her along to the bookstore and bug her in return to ask those store people!

Had merentas desa this morning. I was actually planning not to come since I know I'm not really you know, jogging material. Hehe. And I wasn't sure if it would be an extremely sunny morning or something. And wearing my school's very own track bottom makes me sick. Anyhows, I decided to tell my mum about the event (heh, was planning NOT to tell her if I didn't wanna go). Looked pretty weird with those numbers at the front and back of the shirt. Aah..reminds me of my primary school's jogathon event when I was in year 5. LOL.

The so-called 3km run was really well, horrible. I'm never a speedy runner and my friends were especially nice enough to run silently and thus I was left all alone WAAAAY behind. While most of them were already running halfway around taman jaya lake, I was still struggling near the the playground leading to the lake! And just like what I've expected before the run, I ended up being number..50-something in the Class 1 run (form 5 & 6). Haha. God knows how much calories I've burned from the run, so yea. Was extremely tired but mum still forced me to go tuition >.<

I've learned my lessons. I will not attend sports day ;)

sad case

2005-03-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

I've got nothing special to say but I'll just blog anyway :P

Aahh..it's been close to 12 months but mum only started complaining about the way I speak an hour ago. Braces can cause speaking problems. It makes people think that you have a mouthful of rice in your err..mouth when you speak :P

You know those people who speak a lot but with their teeth barely shown? Sigh. I'm one of them :|

I need speaking lessons LOL.

crappy obsession

2005-03-16T22:08:00.000+08:00

The school holidays are NOT fun at all. I really wish I could be like one of those primary school kids who just LURVE the holidays, mainly because they get to go for fun trips and all. But what can a 17-year-old kiddo do when she has absolutely strict parents who constantly 'encourage' their daughter to study 24/7? No hanging outs with friends, no extra money to buy their so-called useless things (they only give me money to buy more BOOKS), no broadband at the moment, no fun, no nothing!

Pleasure or pressure? *winks*

I think I'm getting obsessed with As OMG!! Okay, who doesn't want all As for their exams, anyway? Somehow, my case is a little different from the rest. How different? Hmm..honestly, I have no idea. Just that I'm not like one of those people who study real hard and sacrifice their beauty sleep. During the previous exam week, I spent about 4-5 hours studying but still managed to sleep at 10.30pm. I know this is crazy so I'm starting to doubt that I'm gonna get any As this time.

A classmate of mine was so obsessed with getting an A for chemistry, she was still studying at 3am right until the chickens finally woke up. Never have I tried sleeping for less than 3-4 hours for an exam paper. But I told myself that what if I couldn't manage to pass chemistry? So I thought I would much rather just sleep than starting to curse chickens when I fail :)

Ooh, I don't wanna fail chemistry. Not when I MUST attend some detention class with one of my weirdest teachers if I fail :P

Mum: So which colleges are your friends planning to go to?
Me: I dunno. They said they wanna go to form 6.
Mum: Really? Go join them lar!
Me: *eyes pop out* WHAT? Never!!
Mum: Form 6 is cheaper, and it saves us some cash too. If you go to form 6, we can use the money we've saved for your college to go for a vacation.
Me: Oh, at least you've already got the money :P
Mum: But college is still very expensive! If you go to form 6, and pass STPM, you can just go to uni.
Me: But I don't wanna go to local uni.
Mum: Well..*cites example of a family friend's son who passed STPM and managed to go to Russia to study medicine*
Me: OMG, he's different! He wants to be a doctor; I still haven't decided what to be yet.
Mum: *frustrated* So you choose: college or vacation?
Me: Urm..*rolls eyes*

Sigh.

exam madness!

2005-03-11T21:29:00.000+08:00

I have finally managed to kill my addiction to the internet. What a big archievement here ;)

Anyways, the exams have made my brain to turn slower than ever each day. I think I'm starting to get more and more stupid as the day passes by and all. I can't seem to think quickly nowadays. So the next time you see me at the roads, you'll be thinking why the heck am I there at the side of the road for over 10 minutes, even when the traffic is okay. It's like, my brain can't even send the correct message to the rest of my body to cross the road when there are less cars around. Aarggh!

Then during the SPM results day, as I saw a lot of last year's form fives walking around looking excited or gloomy, I thought, "Hey, I'm gonna be like one of them next year! But I have a slightly higher chance to be like the gloomy-looking ones, though!"

What I think of each of the subject tested:
bm: this is like..my poorest language subject?! i don't think i did well in tatabahasa, though. aah..thinking about this paper only makes my head to spin like ~~180~~ 360 degrees (woah?!!). heard that there are people who have failed this paper. nicey.
english: kind of okay. just kinda crapped a lot in the literature section :P
mod math: paper 2 was killing me. i hate doing sums a lot, and they gave a lot of questions and more graphs to do. very time consuming.
history: the objective paper went kinda good. as usual, i created my own version of malaysian history in the essay section :)
moral: the new format was making me nervous. i'm not sure if the way i did is right or wrong. out of about 16 moral values, i only forgot one value. woohoo!
est: i can't believe they're testing this out in a MONTHLY test. haha. they gave us an extremely short time to complete the whole paper; i wasted a lot of time doing the report.
physics: believe me, the paper doesn't even look like a monthly test paper!! i wrote the wrong experiment, the wrong facts for essay, wrong everything. sigh. who said physics is the easiest science subject?!
biology: i'm glad that what i read for like..2 days, came out in the paper. phew.
chemistry: my (and almost everyone's) worst nightmare. need i say more? *winks*
add math: it's been a very long time since i last had this feeling after doing this paper: FAILURE!!

I was feeling all screwed up this evening. Am very sick of the sight of couples rubbing each other's back (and butt) while walking. Geez.. :D

numbers are my nightmare

2005-03-05T12:23:00.000+08:00

--HIATUS BREAK--

Wootsie! It's March, and I'm dang happy about it. Haha. But I'll be even happier when it's November. Mwahahaha!

Sigh. I'm obviously lying to myself. Heh.

So first week of exam's just gone, and they always have the language subjects first, so I don't think I faced any serious problems with that. But I felt as though it was my first time sitting for exam when it started on Thusday. Not used to exam atmosphere :P

Anyway, I'm now reading 2 books at one time.
History + Physics = KABOOM!!!

Haha. It's Saturday and so I'm not in the right mood to study. [Thick] Books are making me mad and I'm having trouble trying to absorb everything that's written on the books. And oh, since the SPM results will be out on next Thursday, our add math test has been postponed to Friday.

OMG. I actually thought we were gonna have some fun after the final test ends before recess on Friday, but looks like we're gonna have not one, but TWO number tests on Friday. Why must this happen to me when I actually hate seeing numbers?! Seeing numbers once (for more than an hour) already causes headache. Two tests should then make me faint and be sent to the hospital. Gah.

I'm still thinking whether or not I should join the jungle trekking event. A friend suggested that I should bring some salt in case of a leech attack! Sigh.

like father like son

2005-02-27T14:48:00.000+08:00

I don't really talk to my dad that often. I don't get to see him 24/7. And most of the things that he says pretty much screw me off. I'm starting to get used to the fact that he loves my brother more. Sigh.

Anyway, mum told dad that my brother and I have not been talking to each other for weeks now. My dad must have thought that my brother was absolutely innocent so he kind of nagged me about how "you should love your brother". OMG.

Then hours ago, he nagged me again, and told me to be a "good sister".

Dad: So how long have this been going on?
Me: How long have what been going on?
Dad: You and your brother!
Me: Oh. I dunno.
Dad: What do you mean you don't know?
Me: I..I..forgot.
Dad: Which means? Since when you two didn't speak to each other?
Me: A week ago, I think *sarcastically
Dad: Whose fault was it? Were you the one who started it?
Me: No.
Dad: You are his sister, you should tolerate him. Don't be so selfish!

Sigh. I wish I could fight back. But I was a little tired, and sleepy, so I've got no mood to do that. Dad's trying to be someone to unite my bro and I. I can tell him that his attempt has failed :D We haven't been talking to each other for 3 weeks now. How can I tolerate him when it was he who started everything first?

--HIATUS CONTINUES--

short break

2005-02-25T15:56:00.000+08:00

--HIATUS BREAK--

Yes, it's time to break hiatus. But will be back hiding from computer very soon :P

Oh well, honestly I didn't really fully hide away. I did go online for like..5-10 minutes? Once a day? Hey at least it's WAAAY better than how I did last time: 2-3 hours per session; 2-3 times a day. It's hard to break the habit, but at least I tried *sniff*

Basically nothing special happened. Almost went blind on Tuesday and Wednesday due to endless camera flashes. Gah. I know I didn't really pose well, so I don't really expect anything good in all the photos I've taken. I put some extremely fake smile that is obviously, well, obvious. I can smile like some overjoyed child normally but I just suck in photos. Hmm..they should consider having someone who looks like Michael Jackson dressing up as Austin Powers or something, next to the cameraman so all of us can just smile (or laugh)..sincerely. My smile would either look like (:S) or (:|). Oh gawd.

Also, I'll have to do something to improve my writing. I wrote an essay recently but I got some weird remarks from teacher :P Maybe because I was running out of time, and paper, so there was nothing I could do but just end up with an "abrupt ending". My grammar is still bad LOL. Should read the dictionary after exams..

I kind of volunteered to get myself involved in our class's pages thingie that will be published in the school magazine. Initially wanted to try out captions, but gave up because of obvious reasons (haha..what if someone wants you to edit the caption over 50 times because she isn't satisfied with it?). I chose photography in the end, though I don't have a digital camera here at home. So I'll have to ask dad if he could just lend his company's camera to me. The class monitor wanted EVERYONE to get involved so as the result, more than 6-7 people were chosen to be in charge of layout ALONE when you only need 1-2 people to do the job! Heh.

For the first time in my life, I'm gonna hold a polaroid camera on Sports Day! Sadly it's not my camera *sobs*

special announcement~

2005-02-21T05:55:00.000+08:00

I'm planning to hide myself from the online world for 3 weeks -- until my first test is completely over.

So I shall just let my computer to be covered with dust while I'm away.

It's just the first monthly test!! Yes, right. Let's just say that I'm not doing this for the tests; can't I just create my own fear factor challenge?! Aikz? ;]

--OFFICIAL HIATUS BEGINS--

meanie..

2005-02-18T23:02:00.000+08:00

March is SO going to be a happy month. Aah..the joys of having to sit for the first monthly test. After the test, I think I'm just gonna pretend that I've just completed SPM and start living like a free retard :P

Naw..I have other better things to do. Besides, I was told the other day that I MUST join some silly jungle trekking at Gasing hill or something (I seriously have NO idea where the Gasing is, although my school is situated very near there). Extra marks will be given to those who are joining, so I guess I have to give in. I'm not sure if I am allowed to wear long sleeve shirt and long pants, though. I am so afraid of leeches although I've never met one before :P

Geez..why can't they have jungle trekking somewhere else instead? I would rather go dissect a (dead) frog than exploring jungles full of leeches! LOL. Gosh, joining some science society is SO nasty. Hmmph!

I am such a mean person OMG. I told a lot of lies today. And it only stopped after 3pm. LOL. Frankly, I only told 2 BIG lies today. And if what they said is true, my tongue is gonna get cut another 2 times in...the afterworld :) One of the lies I told was when someone told me something funny, and 'sad' to say, ridiculous. I don't REALLY appreciate old musical instruments (piano, violin, etc) but the person wanted me to "attend a forum to learn how to appreciate musical instruments". So in the end, I had to refuse by telling him some super lame excuse ("...study for exam..."). *slaps forehead*

I can smell coney dog from here. It's really not good to not buy me something from A&W. I feel so hungry now but I am told to crunch on biscuits instead. Haha. I can't wait till my next trip to the place tomorrow!! *licks around lips*

zoOoOoOm!!

2005-02-16T22:02:00.000+08:00

No intention to blog actually, because I was planning to sleep at 9.45pm, but now it's already pass 10pm. Sigh. I'm timing myself now and hoping that I can prove myself once more that I can actually type FAST! (think ferrari)

I just sort of set some new rules for myself. Unsurprisingly, the rules have absolutely NOTHING to do with exams/studies/whatever. Just some stupid rules I made up to make myself a nicer girl *smiles widely* Lame, huh? But..but..you can't blame me when I was actually yawning all the time during tuition, can you? *winks*

NOTE TO SELF: NEVER EVER SLEEP DURING TUITION EVER AGAIN!!

Physics homework made my right shoulder to hurt like..something. I'm right-handed, so maybe I was really terribly busy writing (and drawing wave patterns, OMG) and plus I ~~didn't~~ don't have this habit of sitting up straight and all. Aah..someone please PLEASE massage my right shoulder for me *puppy eyes*

266 days left to SPM. I can HARDLY wait for the moment to come. When can I actually see the number 1 there on the SPM countdown calendar in my classroom?! *winks*

Woohoo! I made it -- about 6 minutes! LOL.

sensitive person speakin

2005-02-14T21:49:00.000+08:00

[edit: paragraphs deleted. hard to resist the temptation to bring a phone to school. Mwahahaha]

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

Now where's my gift? *winks*

cny blues

2005-02-11T20:56:00.000+08:00

Nothing special happened during chinese new year, or when I was still in my hometown. I mean, CNY is about the same thing every year, right? *winks*

Didn't sleep well there because the pillows and mattress were (they still are) VERY HARD!!! At night, I would like..miss my own bed and pillows very much because nothing could ever beat them! *evil laugh* And just last night, I wasn't even asleep an hour after I was on the bed. Like..my eyes were still open at midnight although the lights were already switched off at 11pm. Maybe I just couldn't wait to go home. Haizzz...

Followed all the usual CNY customs and all. Didn't eat chicken on the first day; this is what we do every year (I didn't know about this; I thought we ate chicken on the first day every year!!). How could they do this when I wished that I could get myself to KFC?? In the end I only bought fries and wedges.

Cousin brought me to a ride around town. Initially didn't trust her driving skills since she just got her license. LOL. Told her not to drive above 40km/h, or I would jump off the car! Said that in a funny manner, though, so she didn't mind! Haha. But I was freaked out when she tried to cross the busy road when cars were all coming by, and I screamed. I was sitting on the front seat next to my cousin, and just imagine being in a car driven by a 18-year-old! But as the ride went on, I cooled down and chatted with her all the way.

Brain didn't receive enough oxygen on the first day. Neighbours were playing with firecrackers and poisonous smoke/gas entered the house and made our brains to suffocate! Was covering my nose all the time but at the same time was sucking in a bit of clean air using my mouth. I had headache minutes later.

The most troublesome thing to happen during CNY eve/CNY was the mobile phone operator traffic thingie which kinda screwed up A LOT. It is getting suckier to have 012 now. They said 012 didn't provide enough lines or something so I had to keep pressing the send button over 20 times to finally send messages. The problem wasn't even that serious (although it occured) using 019. Gah. Maxis should perhaps try to spend more money to provide more lines for "over a million customers" instead of advertising their stuff with famous peeps in their ads. +___+

Counted my money a few hours ago. Amount not so satisfying. Believe me, I thought I would get less than 100 bucks. And I dared to say that I wanted to spend the money to buy a digicam. I was thinking, "are ALL the CNY money I got for these 10 years enough to buy me the latest digicam?" *winks*

villain at home

2005-02-05T18:32:00.000+08:00

Why am I always the number one victim of endless blamings? Under my roof, that is. It sucks a lot being blamed like shit and then get pissed off for nothing at all. At times I felt like crying, but I held back my tears because I didn't want to show those blamers that I was the one who did that mistake. Or something.

I don't think I'm ever gonna speak to my brother again. I know this is childish, but I can't help it. My bro has completely changed from an immature soft spoken boy to some idiotic, rude and gangsta-looking guy. There was a time when I refused to do him a favour, he immediately went to the kitchen and took mum's kitchen knife and pointed it to me. And he took that stupid knife and scratched my table. OMG. I told this to my parents, but all he got was just some lame nagging from my mum.

Then he called me something bad because I always followed my mum and am kinda close to her. He sounded as though I was only pretending to be good to get advantages. I actually doubted that he knew anything about loving his parents and all. He cursed me sometimes, and hoped that something bad would happen to me. %#$&!!! I don't know if it's because I'm better than him accademically or something. Until now he's trying to complete with me over something, including exams. He tried comparing his results to my form 1 results. He lost :P

All this nonsense (the fact that he's ruder than ever) started since he entered secondary school last year. People who don't know him described him as a shy-looking boy. OMG, I just HATE his secondary school.

I don't know if I'll still get to share something with him, be in a photo with him, or share crappy stuff with him. Sigh. I screamed a lot today; I hope I won't get nightmares ;)

more equations :)

2005-02-02T19:40:00.000+08:00

Aah...spent about 20 minutes brushing my lovely teeth today before my 10th orthodontic appointment :) But...
wednesday + pain in the gums = bowl of chicken porridge

wednesday used to be porridge day in the house. But I'm not bored of those yummy watery rice yet. Ahakz..

CNY is approaching. But I'm not usually into CNY mood. It's really like this every year.
oily food + mosquitoes + endless noisy fireworks somewhere in the neighbourhood + limited red packets = my kind of CNY.

Will be spending 4 days at my hometown. Should get a notebook as soon as possible, hopefully before next year's CNY. I get bored very easily there and I'm not allowed to touch my cousin's computer. Sigh.

The holidays are only nice when the computer becomes my best friend :D

road runner should be grinning now ;)

2005-02-01T17:13:00.000+08:00

Both my legs are still painful. Thanks to what me and my classmates did today. We walked for some 10-15 km, I think (aah..dang merentas desa)? LOL. We started at the back gate and jogged down the area and reached this park here and then took a big round around. I was one of the first few peeps at the starting line, but ended up being the last when it finished. :P

Yes, yes, I know. I'm a lousy runner. Sigh. I'm OLD. *fake cough*

This is only the beginning. A practice. The real thing will be held in March, and the whole school will be doing this together. This is just sick especially when it's made compulsory. Geez..

I accidentally slept during lessons LOL.
boredom + fatigue = *zzzz*

puzzling thoughts

2005-01-29T10:46:00.000+08:00

I think I'm slowly becoming the laziest blogger in history. Or something. Sigh. I have lots of rubbish to tell, but nowadays I'm too hooked on something else. Oh gawd, please don't make me think that the internet is boring. *zzz*

Anyway, I was DAMN relieved that I'm not chosen to be part of the editorial team. I mean, what is the point to stay back almost everyday just to do ONE section of the school magazine? With a bunch of arrogant juniors, that is. I can kick my chairs in anger because I didn't join last year, but in second thought, WHAT IS THE POINT?! Joining one of the 'best clubs in school' (wait a sec, is that a club?!) doesn't make human beings fly from KLCC to the peak of Everest Mt. I admit that I was feeling all desperate sometime ago, but nevermind that. Apart from wanting to gain some experience, I also wanted my name and picture to be IN the magazine. Sigh.

And...where on earth can you find someone who has the same surname as you, born in the same hospital as you, been in the same school as you...Siblings? Nah..I'm not talking about siblings, but someone you can call as a friend. *scratches head*

I've no idea of where to go after form 5. My friends have been influencing me and said that form 6 is waaaay better than college. Aahh..I don't know, man. STPM is harder than my current worry now *winks* and well, ...My dad would be grinning the whole month if I tell him that I'm choosing form 6. Typical dad. O.o

To be added into wishlist: digital camera (doesn't matter which brand, which model, what year, etc.)

money is crappy stuff

2005-01-25T15:17:00.000+08:00

Short post today. Seriously not in the mood to write long.

After breakfast, mum drove us around the Sunway area. And so we were wandering around Monash and Sunway U there; spotted a lot of students coming out of their hostel. I wondered when I would be part of the 'college family' or something. LOL.

Mum and dad were 'softly' argueing about my future education crap. Dad wanted to borrow some money from mum, and asked mum to withdraw her money from her bank account or something. Mum refused because the money in that account are specially for her children's study fees, etc *winks* Then dad started crapping and said I should go to form 6 instead. OMG. He wanted me to rot in A SCHOOL for 2 dumb years for less than RM100 a year.

He said college is useless, and thought that ALL of them charge really expensive fees. If I could just recover my rubber baseball bat and hit it on dad's head instead. Sigh. I know he doesn't encourage me to go to college because he wants to save some money. Lame excuse, if you ask me :P

So from ~~both my parents, especially~~ my mum (my dad hugs his cash tightly), I learnt one thing. Money can be troublesome sometimes. Why on earth do people commit crimes because of money?!?! Burglary, robbery, corruption, etc. Being a millionaire doesn't mean that you're gonna own the whole galaxy or something. You only need some for food and your own personal and uh, entertainment *winks* needs, that's all. That's why I never bother to take or even give a second look at a RM100 note at the roadside. And I always heard some children complaining when they didn't get enough money during CNY. They're little, I know, but I have 5 words in my mind when I receive money from other people: take it or leave it.

Bah...I shall not expect to get my dad to buy a new car for me, pay the internet bills, buy me another handphone, or buy me the best notebook. >.<

those were the days

2005-01-23T21:04:00.000+08:00

This is strange.

One of the things that I'm not good at is fighting. And I don't mean fighting as in pointing knives and swords to each other. It's like I am no good when it comes to defending myself when I'm involved in an arguement. Maybe because I'm born this way, as I don't always fight with my mum, although it happens sometimes :) But sigh. So it's like, even when I'm right, but is eventually involved in a silly arguement, in the end I'm just a sore loser. So when I'm extremely lucky, I get shown the 'L' sign by my opponent(s).

The good side of me is that I give chances to almost everyone very easily. I remember last time when I was queing up for something, someone suddenly appeared and squeezed herself between me and someone in front of me. It was long time ago, I think, when I was REALLY young. I didn't say a word but just stared blankly at the girl's hair.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really that dumb or stupid. I don't know how to defend myself using the right and legal way. And I dared to say that I wanted to be a lawyer (in my previous post). OMG. People still think that I'm that small or short or whatever that I used to be in primary school. Now that I've grown taller, even taller than one of those people, I thought I could get myself satisfied for once. But that someone there dared to mention that she's 10 centimetres taller than me when it's the other way around. Aahh..oh yes, didn't I tell you that I hunch too? *winks* [edit: LOL. Frankly, I don't care about my height anymore]

-titleless-

2005-01-21T21:33:00.000+08:00

I created my first xanga days ago, and hoped that it could be my next place to rant a little about how terrible part of my life can be. But I finally shut down the site, because I found out all my entries were so crappy. Maybe my style of writing or not-so-good english didn't make my entries sound real enough. Ahakz..

I've been having this habit of going online everyday, without my parents' knowledge. When it's night time, and they aren't asleep, I switch off my bedroom lights when I'm facing the computer. I can only stop torturing my eyes when they're in their bedroom or when everyone else are sleeping. Sigh. When can I actually get 100% freedom of having this rockin' internet spree? After SPM? Yea, I guess so. To the peeps who invented the internet, rock on! LOL.

Holidays for 5 days. Planning not to come to school on Monday, but I have a few things to hand in. I don't feel like delaying my homework all the time. But only bad thing is the house practice.

Dear March,
If you still aren't here yet, I'm just gonna suffer running around the field and keep jumping arounnd the field under the hot scorching sun. I'm now serously broke and have no extra $$$ to buy banana boat, so please come around soon.

Someone please send this short note to March. @_@

I have so much to write about, but blame in on writer's block, please. Thank you, Diaries editor for making my situation go worse. My 6th writer's block happened just in front of you. >.<

aarggh..writer's block!!!

2005-01-17T19:58:00.000+08:00

OMG. The editorial interview today was super difficult. I had to get interviewed twice by different section editors and I kept on saying things like 'erm' or something during the interview. The editors who I know were a bit weird today, and they pretended that they didn't know me. Now that was scary. After the Q&A section, I was given an assignment, which I had to finish in 30 minutes' time. That was only the first assignemnt, mind you. I had to write an article about this event which is going on in the school. I was too nervous, and I thought 30 minutes sounded much like 30 seconds. I was running out of time, and the editor was actually rushing me. I was also impatient.

I know that if I really got chosen as a highlights member, I wouldn't take 30 minutes to complete my tasks. I mean, it's obvious, isn't it? You would take your time trying to think of the right words to write. But today, it was different! I was there in the corner of the classroom trying to think of what to write. I looked from left to right, almost finding for some uh, 'inspiration'. I think I suffered from writer's block. OMG. An article is supposed to be quite long, but I think mine's the shortest. I was the only form 5 who went for the highlights interview today. Seeing all those who are younger than me there is just plain weird.

After finishing the article, I went over to another desk and then faced yet another interviewer who asked me LOTS of awful questions. Most of the questions were good; the editor has this british-like accent or something. She asked me to think of a caption for a few pictures. Yikes, I couldn't actually think of anything to say. But one of the answers I gave was damn weird and lame that I almost laughed at myself. I only got 'that's good' as the reply. I was given yet another assignment. Yet another essay. *sigh*

I don't dare to think of the results. This is too sick. Having juniors to compete with a form 5 student like me is just too...bad. Oh yea, I just got myself a xanga, where I shall post LONG entries there, without mentioning names. My LJ is the one where I'm going to post extreme personal and secret entries in. Haha..

wanted: automatic weed puller

2005-01-15T13:32:00.000+08:00

Nothing much to blog about right now. My dad bought this pirated DVD of Kungfu Hustle. OMG. Such a silly crappy movie. I mean, what do you expect from Steven Chow anyway? Geez..

Okay, so I did some weeding work today in school for some gotongroyong thing *sigh* Nothing much; just pulled out some unwanted plants near the canteen operator's house. He would have so much to thank for. I did absolutely nothing there, besides weeding and picking up junk. I actually wanted to help paint the school name thingie built with bricks or something, but maybe not..Then it was wandering around the school and searching for friends from other uniformed bodies. Basically, we just kinda posed for the cameras for our moral project. Hehe...

See you guys around; I'm trying to enjoy my ice-cream, see? LOL.

geeky career choices

2005-01-13T21:44:00.000+08:00

So we had a second ugly fire drill in school today. This is actually one of the many school events that I dislike the most (the first one has to be sports day!!), so I was almost not bothered when I heard the school bell rang for several times, signalling that it was a fire drill and that we should all 'run for our lives'. No one even bothered to rush out, so we slowly walked towards the school field and waited there under the hot sun for several minutes. Some bomba guy came out and gave us a talk aka lecture, as well as some demonstration on how to put out a fire using the fire extinguisher. *yawns*

Too many science subjects today. And I was too tired and sleepy to listen. Not even in the mood to do some chemistry experiment with my group. This is laziness, see? I was actually thinking of dropping chemistry, which is one of the subjects that I'm poor at. But since that I'm really interested in getting involved in the science field, and chemistry is one of the most important science thingie, I changed my mind. Maybe I was just feeling lazy and thought that getting an A1 for it was nearly impossible. This is extreme laziness, see? And the other day, I was thinking of my possible career in the future.

When I was in year 2, I wrote 'flight attendant' as my first choice of ambition in this blue card form thing (the one that has all your personal particulars, and not forgetting your photo in which you looked really innocent back then?). I was inspired by my neighbour's mum, who worked for MAS. Then when I was in year 5, I wanted to be a doctor, and this came when I watched this drama about docs. In form 3, I thought of becoming a journo one day. And until now, I'm still not leaving journalism behind. Later on I developed a strong interest towards astronomy. But then a friend insisted that if I work as someone who has a degree in astronomy, in this country, I will end up in the government's weather forecast centre :P Then forensic science came into my mind last year after I watched CSI. OMG, this is so lame. This year, it was either biotechnology or food science. *sigh*

Other silly options I once thought of includes: tour guide, lawyer, disc jockey. LOL. I feel like laughing at myself now.

it's survey time!!!

2005-01-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

I should be sleeping now. I mean, I actually need at least 7 hours of sleep. This is the time I spend during school days. During weekends or holidays, just don't expect me to get up until I have more than 10 hours of sleep.

Anyways, I was recently browsing around some surveys site again. And this is the one I found. I think I'll just post survey results here instead when I have nothing to write :P

Would you rather be an African elephant or an Asian elephant? Why?
asian..cuz i'm asian!!

Would you rather freeze to death or burn alive? Why?
freeze to death. i love it when it's cold!

Name three movies you like
lotr, spiderman, home alone

Name three books you like
3 books? sorry, but i don't really read that much books

Have you ever fallen in love with a fictional character? Which one(s)? Why?
yea..legolas greenleaf. he's just so hawt! i repeat: HAWT! sometimes i just wish that he isn't fictional

Republican, Democrat or other? Why?
do i look like i care about bush and all?

Attendance percentage at high school dances?
??

What television shows do you watch regularly?
chinese serials, and the usual stuff. the lamest show i've ever watched is newlyweds

Abortion is...
evil..just like an act of a devil *evil laugh*

The death penalty is...
just right

How do you take your coffee?
i never drink coffee

How do you take your tea?
like...normal?!

Who's your favorite teacher/professor?
man, this is hard! urm, my english teacher :D

How do you feel about your parents?
they're okay i guess. my mum..she's alright when she's in a good mood. my dad..i'm just not so close to him

What sort of music do you listen to?
r&b, hip hop, and some pop

List five or ten bands you listen to.
linkin park, maroon 5, simple plan, hoobastank, sum 41

Do you use public transportation?
urm, yea

Ever told someone you love him/her?
duh!!

Morning person, night person or both?
neither :P

Siblings?
a brother

What are your friends like?
most of them are just nice but some of them aren't that friendly though :O

Amusement parks are?
boring

Cafeterias are?
not bad...

Dogs are?
okay. i'm not a dog person actually :)

Any phobias, traumas or other weirdnesses?
i'm scared of heights and creepy crawlies. and i don't watch horror movies :S

drivin is hawt

2005-01-08T13:17:00.000+08:00

So the first week of school is over and I have 4 days of tuition a week. At the moment, everything went kinda good. Now I can't wait for SPM. LOL.

I hope we're gonna start learning next week, since the first week has been an extremely boring week (what with the crappy PMD and a teacher's retirement ceremony??!). Sports practice officially starts next Monday and I have to bear with it (and not forgetting, the sun) for 7 weeks before Sports Day. The first few months will be kinda sporty for all, but when mid-term arrives, books and more books become our best friends. Hehe... :D

I'm not taking my driving license until...urm, until I attend college. Mum thinks this is not the best time to drive especially when it's SPM year (to her, SPM is the best excuse). And all my other friends are now expecting a new car from their mummys and daddys. I have the feeling that driving would be a fun thing to do. I used to play those car-racing games in the arcade, and boy, was I happy when I grabbed the steering wheel!!

I so wanna drive now. Somebody better lend me their cars and let me drive around my neighbourhood. Ooh, I don't mind paying for the damages I might cause later on *grins*

PS: I'm so sick of this layout now. Time to download a new one *winks* Oh, and I know the links above are not working, but I'm not bothered to fix them anyways :P

desperation?!

2005-01-06T15:45:00.000+08:00

The first week of school is usually when all the lectures and boring and lame activities are conducted. Honestly, I can't wait to learn. I purposely chose the place in front just to pay more attention towards the teachers. And today, I found out that it is now hard to listen to what my add math teacher was saying. Maybe I didn't really listen to her as much as I listen to my mum last year. ;P

I'm thinking of joining the editorial board (you know, the team that's responsible of producing the school magazine?). Okay, this is silly. I should've joined it 2 years ago when they allowed form 3s to register. But then, none of my closest friends joined so I had to give up. This time, I think I'm just gonna take the registration form and fill it up instead. There is less time to waste. But I'm not doing it entirely for the cert and some said, trophy. The only gruesome part is the interview. I seriously have no idea how to face an interview. Help, anyone?

Tomorrow is going to be sick. If I weren't a prefect, I would've told my mum that I'm gonna be absent tomorrow. Bah. Tuition tonight. Where are all the interesting tutors? Can't the tutors today make the lessons even better and stop talking to themselves? Tuition is ~~not~~ now a matter of quantity and quality to me. LOL.

lonely new year's eve

2005-01-02T15:21:00.000+08:00

Bah. Didn't really celebrate new year's eve last year. Yup, LAST YEAR. Ended up sleeping really early although I could hear sounds of fireworks in my neighbourhood. I couldn't see them clearly, because my bedroom window went blurry and the more I looked at the window, the more I felt sleepy. So my head was then falling onto my pillow, but I did wish myself a happy new year before going to sleep. *sigh*

Anyway, we went to this cool restaurant to celebrate granny's birthday. Forgot to ask how old she is now :P My aunt ordered a total of 7 dishes - served on HUGE plates. No birthday cakes this time, since it was a last minute thingie. LOL. Food was great, but when the 5th dish was served, I was full. (and WTF, I'm hungry now as I write this!) Back home, my cousin showed me and my bro some MP3s she downloaded into her mobile phone from her computer. Then we watched 2 short soft porn videos - in cartoon form. One involved Popeye with his girlfriend, Olive (or something like that; forgotten her name). The other one was longer. It involved the male (blue) and female (female) symbols you usually see outside public toilets. So when a guy went into the toilet, the female symbol walked towards the male, kissed him and uh did that. Me, my cousin and my bro were laughing like we've never laughed before in our lives. Then bro demanded for another round of the male/female symbol video. Dirty cow.

Feeling a little bored, I went down to watch some football with dad. About 15 minutes later, I used my cousin's computer to go online for a short while before sleeping at midnight.

School officially starts tomorrow. It feels bad when you already get used to waking up at about 10am or had more than 10 hours of sleep. I just hate the first day of school. Don't you?

2005 do's and don'ts

2004-12-30T23:13:00.000+08:00

Woot! New year's day is coming soon. And it's only 2 days away! Heard of the sad news that all formal new year eve celebrations will not be held. So we can just rest assured that no fireworks will be displayed - legally. The tsunami tragedy just kinda hit us at the last minute (what when school is about to start, and it's near 2005?). I was wondering if I could actually catch other countries celebrate on TV.

Since I won't be at home this Saturday, which is the best day to post your new year resolutions, I'm just gonna post the list here. It's nothing really special or extraordinary, though. Have you ever heard of someone who wanted to be a terrorist and bomb everyone - as part of their new year resolutions?

must really pay attention to my add math teacher - even when i feel like sleeping
try not to be selfish at times and learn how to spell out the word: tolerate
try absorbing everything my mum says - even when the words are piercing through my heart *ouch*
eat more food with iron; i need to stop yawning every 30 minutes
smile more often, although i'm getting used to it, compared to years ago when people thought i looked sad or gloomy
tell a hairstylist to do something to my hair
eat even more green veggies
at least PASS all my SPM subjects, and hopefully, get straight As for it (my mum has high expectations on me)
try controlling myself when i see good-looking guys around (i know this is sick, but i can't help it)
... *out of words*

HAPPY NEW YEAR in advance!

[edit: new layout! taggie needs a little rest here, so it'll be back when a new layout appears. i know it's a little messy in here, but i've been totally crazy for the past 2 hours or so trying to make things look good]

busy day

2004-12-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

Woke up at about 9am; had about 9 hours of sleep. Then at about 2 hours later, mum drove me to school cuz I had to help out with the other prefects as it was PMR results day. Actually, I shouldn't have come so early; the results were only released at 2.30pm and I was just wandering around the school area and chatted with my friends at the canteen, which was the place to collect the results slip.

Meeting with my friends again is a great thing to do. It's been over 2 months since we last met, and some of them even look different ;) Anyway, my job there was to help stream the form 3 students into a suitable class/stream. This means, I was one of the first few people who got to see the results first. LOL.

I was wondering if BM was really that difficult. A lot of students didn't manage to get an A for that, though. And the 2nd class has more straight A scorers than the 1st class. This is like, extremely different from my year :S

I still haven't got a clue about the actual amount of the top scorers. But I'm gonna find out later :P

Then at about 3pm, I rushed outside school and was actually spotting for my dad's car. I called him a number of times, but I still waited for him for over 30 minutes. Imagine standing there in the middle of gloomy-looking students when it was drizzling. Then we were off to the dentist. This time, my dentist gave me a pack of rubber bands (smaller than your average ones which you use to tie your hair); I need to use each of them to connect the upper and bottom part of each side of my mouth. Putting them on can be a very challenging thing. Geez, I can't even yawn properly. OMG.

5 more days till school reopens. *sigh*

xmas: my story

2004-12-26T20:58:00.000+08:00

I just returned from a trip to Lumut (near Pangkor). The 3D/2N trip was fun, and not to mention, fantastic! Here's what I have to say about the trip:

Dec 24

we received a call from my aunt, who said that my paternal granny was admitted into a hospital near Ipoh. my dad was freaking out like ke-ra-zee, and so we rushed all the way to Ipoh just to visit granny. she looked pretty okay, but she fractured her backbone, and needed some operation to attach her bones. we were all worried about her condition and told her not to cook for us anymore. she broke her backbone when she was lifting up a huge bowl of soup. anyways, about an hour later, we left for Lumut, which is far from Ipoh. and we took more than 3 hours just to find our resort. OMG. we checked in at about 4pm, and the room looks cool. *thumbs up* dinner was not-so-nice, though. i'm kinda picky when it comes to food, though. so i didn't eat much in the buffet. but there was also this BBQ buffet section at the garden part where some satay, turkey, chicken wings, fried noodles were available. i quickly rushed for the satay and friend noodles cuz the food at the other buffet was tasteless to me. and i didn't manage to eat those yummy-looking salmon and oyster. about 3 hours later, we went back into our room and watched home alone instead. then at about 11.45pm, dad said that he wanted to take us all out for the countdown near the beach, but unfortunately, it rained quite heavily and the resort's plan was cancelled. maybe they postponed it to another time on the same day..

Dec 25

christmas day!!! we woke up at about 8am to catch breakfast, which ends at 10am. breakfast in buffet style again. i had 3 fried eggs, 4 pieces of turkey bacon, some sausages, 2 baked muffins, a bowl of cornflakes, and a glass of orange juice (refilled 3 times). the reason why we ate much was because we didn't wanna have lunch. then we just walked around the resort and mum did some body massage thingie. oh yea, the cup noodles there are sold at a price - more than triple of that in normal supermarkets! they sold cup noodles for rm3.5o each. geez. we all forced my bro to go swimming, since he had nothing better to do than wandering around. at night, we didn't have dinner at the resort. dad drove us all the way outside (mind you, the road to the resort is so blardy long and narrow) to have seafood. yumz! but before that, we shopped a bit at a supermarket to buy some stuff (the stuff at the resort are damn expensive), and some trademark biscuits. we returned with a stomach full of fishes and crabs! no interesting programmes in the TV today. so we slept early, and i had an extremely weird dream..

Dec 26

departure date. had 12 hours of sleep. me and bro didn't go down for breakfast. we stayed in the room to eat breads that we bought yesterday. we had this breakfast voucher that entitles free meal for 2 people. only my mum and dad went. then we got everything ready and packed our clothes and stuff. we tried to be nice to not steal anything from the room. hehe..:D we initially wanted to turn to our hometown to visit granny, but because dad took the wrong turn and headed straight to KL instead, we just gotta return next week for granny's birthday. used the old highway, and that's why it took us more than 3 hours again to reach another road to the current highway. *rolls eyes*

among the many pics that I took:

the logo of the resort - in case you haven't realised ;)

nice, ain't it?

they've got limited astro channels :(

my bro: the phantom of the uh..party! hehe..

the xmas tree does look fat, huh? LOL

sorry for the limited and almost-useless photos. can't afford to upload any of my pics already. some understanding is appreciated :)

moving on

2004-12-23T14:17:00.000+08:00

2004 is heading to an end..everything seems to happen so quickly. It's like, I really want the year to end, but at the same time, I don't wanna move on to year 2005. Oh crap.

So tomorrow's christmas eve. Then there're 9 more days to new year's day. Phew..

Just here to wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS!! So urm, to all those who're really celebrating it, enjoy your feast. LOL. And keep the jingle bells rock!

As for me, I'm still trying to bite my christmas candies. Ahakz..more when I'm back :P

PS: I feel like buying Anson Hu's latest album. OMG, his songs rock!